Everybody says it - because it's true!

"That first year goes by so fast."

We've had such a crammed packed year with lots of changes - I can't believe it's only been a year since Rye was born.
I also can't believe she's grown and changed so much in a year.
But I'm also still trying to figure out how the first baby I birthed is now a 10 year old, the same size as me ....
Life goes by fast after you have kids!

Baby Rye's Birth

I wasn't surprised when prodromal labor started around 37 weeks gestation. Del and Noah both had about a week of labor-y type contractions coming and going that would peter out with no baby in arms ... only to start up again. With Del I remember realizing that labor was actually happening because contractions intensified (finally)one night. So I expected the same here. There had been regular braxton hicks starting from 20 weeks (a first for me). But prodromal contractions were different. So I anticipated birthing within a week when contractions started on a Sunday. For better or worse, though, we had one more wedding scheduled for the following Friday. If the baby came a week before, I'd bring my mom to take care of the baby and I would go and nurse as needed. But it couldn't come the night before the wedding. Tuesday there was another night of being woken by contractions. Okay, so if the baby came Tuesday, I'd probably be okay by Friday, I told myself. No baby. Thursday night another night of contractions. No, baby, no - not tonight.
I was listening to hypnobabies to fall asleep most of these nights, which helped me get sleep instead of focused on when the next contraction was coming.
Friday morning there was still no baby (phew!) and we headed off to photograph a delightful wedding .

During the 2+ hour drive home I timed contractions at 4-10minutes apart lasting about a minute. But I hadn't timed them before and this may be about what they were doing all during prodromal labor.

No baby Saturday.
Sunday I went to Burlington and hung out with a friend I really wanted to see who is expecting a few months after me. I also had an engagement shoot nearby. The couple was great (we're shooting their wedding in September) and knew that the shoot might be postponed last minute. But no baby, so the shoot happened (phew!).
All official pre-baby photography business was complete.

All I wanted for my birthday back in March was prenatal massages. Our parents came through and I had one more massage. I was insistent I didn't want to NOT have it before the baby (in hindsight, a postnatal massage, while harder to coordinate with a new baby, would have been welcome too, I'm sure!). The massage was scheduled for Monday afternoon. Except I lost track of time and decided to start another tie-dying project so was rushing and slightly frantic by the time I left for the massage.
As I passed through checkpoints on my way to the massage appointment (oh. This was also over a week into a massive manhunt for two felons who had escaped from a nearby maximum security prison), I wasn't feeling so excited about the massage. It was on my "to-do" list, but usually I was so relieved and excited to be going to a massage.
Even so, the massage was awesome. I thought about looking up if the relaxing benefits of a massage would increase the chance of active labor starting. But I didn't want to jinx myself, so resisted looking it up. I really really like my masseuse who happens to be a homeschooling friend who I've spent more and more time with recently. But after the massage, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I usually am so chatty (Del will confirm this, repeatedly) but I just wanted to get home. Back through checkpoints and I was feeling weird and a little scared to be driving.

My intention had been to clean up the tie-dying project when I got home. Instead, I walked through the back door and said: "I'll clean up later, I'm going to bed."
"Going to bed? You were just laying down for an hour massage!" Ren Man replied half in jest.
Focused, I climbed the stairs and fell into bed. I slept for 2 hours before waking and eating and then I started listening to hypnobabies again. Prodromal labor was on again. I asked Ren Man to go get the hook thing we could put on the closet door frame. I was insistent that I would squat for birth as I had for Del very effectively. So he put the hook on the door farm and I tied a wrap to it.

I listened to the early-labor track several times and slept off and on. Around 4:30 I felt a small gush and thought: "I think that's my water breaking". In the bathroom I saw that my underwear was soaked. I found this fascinating because in the previous births my water had broken well into active labor. Both times the water had had meconium. Which turned out to not be anything, except a reason for people to get a little nervous. This time - no meconium. I already had a water proof mat under my sheets and grabbed a towel to put under me too. Back in bed I could feel some more water leaking at times, but not a lot and not all the time.

There was a prenatal appointment scheduled for later that morning so I thought I should give the midwife a heads up. If there hadn't been an appointment I would have waited, I think, until contractions were coming and I was clearly in active labor. But I didn't want the midwife to come and want to stay but her not have her birth supplies. So I texted her a little before 5am, not wanting to wake her. I just told her she might want to bring her birth stuff when she came - but no need to come earlier than our 11am appointment. She asked what was going on and I said my water broke, no meconium, and not really a ton still coming, and not really active labor although I was contracting. She said to keep her updated. I apologized for waking her. She assured me she was already awake. We talked about how the baby's head may be limiting how much water is able to come through. The midwife said she was sending her assistant (a three hour drive away) and the midwife would plan to be here for 11ish as planned.

Whenever I peed water came. I put on a pad and for the rest of labor was surprised by how much water flowed. When Ren Man finally woke up I told him about my water breaking. He looked excited and surprised. I had asked him to set up the cradle for about two weeks, but he'd put me off saying the baby might not come for a while still. I noticed throughout the day that the cradle was put together in our spare room.

I called my mother in law to tell her that the baby was probably coming in the next 24 hours. She made arrangements with work and headed over (first back tracking to get clothes from home and then going to the grocery store to get cake-making supplies - I'd asked for a "birthing day cake"). I drank some water, and fairly quickly puked it right back up. Puking+contraction-at-the-same-time is not so fun.
When Del woke up, I told her the baby would be here in the next 24 hours. She was so excited and asked if she could tell Nina (my mom). Then she ran to tell Noah. "really?" he asked: "are you serious?!"
"Yes, YES!" she said all excitedly.
"Good, I was hoping we'd have pizza for dinner tonight!" Noah responded, knowing that I'd asked for pizza the night of the birth.
I puked again - stomach acid, and decided no more eating for me!
The midwife's assistant arrived and took vital signs. I was feeling silly because contractions were so manageable - even could be missed! Then I'd remember my water had broken - so things were happening. It reminded me of when I first found out I was pregnant and had to keep going to look at the picture of the positive pregnancy test, because it seemed so unreal!
Del and my mom left to pick up veggies and do our usual Tuesday farm deliveries in town.
The midwife's assistant suggested I eat. I explained that I didn't want to puke. She reasoned that if I was going to puke anyway - might as well be food, and not stomach acid. Good point.
I went downstairs to make some yogurt (meaning add sunflower seeds to some plain yogurt). I think I also decided to have strawberries and cream - because apparently I was hungry.
My mother-in-law arrived and I was so happy to see her.
I retreated again to my "cave" and listened to hypnobabies more, trying to encourage active labor.

Throughout the day the midwife's assistant checked my blood pressure, the baby's heartbeat, etc. The midwife arrived around 11 and asked if I wanted to go downstairs. No, I wanted to stay in my cave. She explained that she'd been under the weather so she'd be relying on the assistant even more than usual. I was concerned and wanted her to be comfortable.
Hungry again, I went downstairs and hung out with the midwives in the living room. Contractions were coming more regularly and clearly, but still underwhelming. I was feeling guilty that everyone was waiting and things weren't picking up speed! The midwife said this was very normal - for things to slow down during the day and then pick back up at night. But, I argued, the other two kids were born during the day ... but still this labor was not happening. The poor midwife was uncomfortable and she explained that she'd been in on again off again pain for about two years and it was getting worse and she didn't know what to do. As a result of the worsening pain, she'd recently not been able to sleep at night. She had planned on going to the ER and canceling her appointment for the day. She paced and laid down, trying to get comfortable.

Back upstairs I decided I was done and just wanted to start pushing. That's what had happened with the previous babies. I got to 10cm and pushed - there was no overwhelming need to push - but I was at 10cm and they said I could, so I did. Because at that point I wanted to meet this baby and stop doing this laboring thing! This time however, the midwives assured me no checks were needed, just push when I couldn't help it.
But maybe if I started pushing, then my body would just push on its own.
Ren Man came to check on me. I was hungry again. He brought cheese. It was around this time that I messaged a friend telling the friend I had met on Sunday, that she needed hypnobabies. I offered to lend her mind. She responded that I needed the book. I wasn't interested in telling anyone I was in labor, but I told her I didn't need the book any more because I had the tracks and laughed to myself ... if only she knew.

The midwife's assistant came to take vitals again and she asked about pushing. I explained that I just wanted to be done. She suggested I take a walk - the rain had cleared up. But I didn't want to get dressed and leave my cave. She was very supportive of whatever I wanted to do - if I wanted to walk, I could - if I wanted to stay in my cave I could. She encouraged me to get out of my head.
The midwife came upstairs. She asked about pushing. She firmly and kindly explained that the baby was coming, I didn't need to rush it and to let my body do it this time. It's so much better. Get out of my head. The midwife was staying until the baby came and that didn't have to be any time soon. We talked about how with Del and Noah I pushed because I was 10cm and wanted to be done. Waiting for my body would make pushing faster (not the 1hour+ experiences of the past) and more effective.
That pep talk helped.
Ren Man said he was going out to do chores. I said I wanted to go too. Dressed, I I told the midwives I was going outside to do chores.

But first, they said, let's do vitals. Again, the midwife assured me that labor would pick up again once the sun started setting. I encouraged her to go to the ER - and come back after, we still had hours until sunset. She told me that once your water has broken things can pick up really fast. She was managing and would go after the birth.

And then it was outside, with a quick smell of german chocolate cake as I went by the kitchen. Now if that wasn't motivation to get this baby out!
It was nice to be out with just Ren Man, and getting chores done.

First, as usual, we fed and watered the pigs.

Josh spent time picking up the rest of the limbs we'd cleared a month or so ago and added them to bonfire piles. I was so thankful he was doing this!

I had spent time looking through birth photography and wanted awesome birth pictures. Ren Man insisted he wanted to be the one with the camera. I pointed out that I wanted him IN some pictures. He reasoned that birth is about ME - not the dad, so he found the images of men looking worn out or focused on them rubbing their partner's back silly. But then he suggested we do a picture with both of us because it was so important to me - so we did, and laughed about it too :)

Back at home I probably ate again but also wanted to clean up the tie-dying stuff from the day before. We had tie-dyed in the "not garage" that is missing part of a wall where you can see out into the pasture. I noticed that it was raining pretty hard - but also very very brightly lit by the sun. So I checked, and sure enough - there was a rainbow!

Back in my cave, I continued with these manageable contractions. I was so discouraged! More hypnobabies. Del came and asked when would be a good time for Poobah (my dad) to go get pizza. I told her I didn't care, I wouldn't be having pizza that night, the baby wouldn't be here in time. She let me know I could have a leftover piece the next night. Thanks, kid.

So pizza was gotten and I decided to eat dinner - I was famished (again). I had wings among many other things (yogurt? a salad? and more - but now I can't remember, I just remember eating a TON!).
I decided to go to bed to get some sleep. The midwife said many women wake up in labor after going to bed - get rest while I can.
I fell asleep listening to hypnobabies while Ren Man put Noah and Del to bed.

Two hours later I was awoken by a contraction and started listening to hypnobabies again. I was so tired and wanted to sleep - contractions were still about 10minutes apart, but now I was being woken half way through them and they were overwhelming. After three go-to-sleep-wake-up-overwhelmed-by-contraction, I gave up on going to sleep in between.
Active labor had begun. It was 10:30pm. Suddenly I wondered why I had been wishing for this all day long. I suddenly wanted to crawl out of my own body. The midwives checked on me. Vocalization was definitely happening. The midwife's assistant said she didn't want to interfere with my instincts, but maybe - and here I wasn't sure what she was suggesting - some different kind of noise might be a little more gentle on my throat. But I didn't get what she was suggesting as an alternative.
At some point in here I told Ren Man I was too old for this and I was glad it was the last time.
Besides vital checks, the midwives were still downstairs and I wasn't sure what I wanted in terms of being with just Ren Man or having someone else there too. I threw up. Chicken wings (which is maybe why I know for sure they were part of my huge last meal). Then I started shivering. I wasn't cold, but I was shivering. I asked Ren Man for some more Red Raspberry Leaf tea and to tell the midwives I was shivering because I presumed they would know that meant we were even closer. At the same time, I really didn't want Ren Man to leave the room.

He brought back the beverage. I had hypnobabies in my ears but I was arguing with the woman, partly for Ren Man's benefit ("you're lying, this is not calm and peaceful!", for example). Soon after the midwife's assistant came upstairs and did vitals. She asked if I wanted to shower. No, no, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to stay in my cave. I remembered with Noah, the shower didn't make anything happen quicker and maybe slowed things down.
But then, okay, yeah - we can try a shower.
Oh, shower. I love you.
But when the first contraction hit, I panicked. In the bedroom I'd been leaning over a birthing stool during contractions. In the shower, a large stall shower, there was nothing to rest on. I grabbed onto one of the molded shelves on the opposite wall from the shower head and did a high squat. That worked. And I focused on the feeling of the water hitting my back.
The midwife's assistant talked about making different noises again. My throat WAS sore. I asked her to get my teeth brushing stuff. I kept coughing because my throat hurt and thought maybe it was from throwing up. In fact, insisted that it was from throwing up, not the noises I was making! She didn't argue with me (and I keep meaning to message her and say she was right - the next day - sore throat).
"Do you want to take a break from the shower, so you don't run out of hot water?" the midwife's assistant asked after several contractions.
"No, there's enough water," I said firmly.
More contractions.
"Are you pushing because you want to or because your body wants to?" She asked.
"I don't know," I replied, maybe whimpering.
I happened to see the midwife's assistant's face and saw she was dripping with sweat.
I realized I was hot!

So out I came and waddled to the bedroom. The midwife was waiting and the midwife's assistant listened to the baby's heartbeat again. Then they decided to listen to the heartbeat during a contraction. When the next one came, that once very helpful birthing stool paled in light of how the shower had helped.
"I need to get back in the shower", I said strongly and everyone agreed that the shower would be our next stop. As soon as the midwife's assistant called out a heartbeat number, I told her to take away the doppler. It was too much.
Suddenly things were intense. I reached inside myself and felt the head. I tried to push it back up.
"NO NO, never mind! CANCEL! CANCEL! I don't want a baby!" I yelled. (At this point my mother in law apparently went to check on Del and Noah. They said they were okay but Noah said: "I just want to get a little sleep around here!").
"I don't want this baby anymore!!" I said.
"Okay, you birth the baby and I'll bring it home with me," the midwife assured me.
I tried squatting, as that's what I did with Del and it worked well.
"No, no, that's not good! It's too intense! I can't do this, make it stop! I'm all done - I CAN'T!!" I yelled during a contraction.
"But you ARE doing it!" one of the midwives said.
"Keep talking, keep saying that!" I told them between a contraction.
As a strong sense of pushing started again: "can I try all fours instead, squatting is too much!!"
"Do whatever feels right," they said.
"But will it be less intense?" I asked desperately as I found a tiny space (our bedroom is small) to fit my body on the floor on fours.
"Ring of FIRE!" I said a few times as I felt the head stretching my skin.
I heard someone ask where Ren Man was. Someone said he was getting Del, who had said she wanted to be woken for the birth.
"DEL! Hurry!" I yelled.
I reached between my legs with one hand.
I felt the head coming outside and the midwives encouraged me to slow the head down to minimize tearing. I tried, but also wanted it over! I felt the head fill my hand; wet, warm, and covered with hair.
When the head was fully out, I was so relieved ... but also panicked that the shoulders of this obviously 15lbs baby were going to be as hard to birth as the head. Another slight push and the baby was out. (Ren Man said it looked like the head came out and then the body with no time in between.) The midwife's assistant passed the baby through my legs and I scooped it up to hold close. It was a little before 3am and pushing had taken about 3minutes. My water had been broken for 22.5 hours.

(Ren Man informed me after that I was ridiculous because it went like this: "I CAN'T DO THIS, I DON'T WANT A BABY ANYMORE hi-baby-you're-so-beautiful..."). I couldn't believe the baby was here! A head full of dark hair and a body covered in vernix - another first! I rubbed the waxy substance into some smooth baby skin and marveled. Then checked, and wasn't too surprised to find I had predicted right - a girl! Del was so excited.
Noah and Del had been quick to latch on and start nursing, not this girl. She had me laughing as she licked and squirmed but never latched.

I moved to the bed with some help. I started shaking again, but it didn't last long. Noah asked about the cord and I showed him how it was still in my body connected to the placenta. I was surprised that he seemed really comfortable with my lack of clothes and thankful for the opportunity to normalize birth.
Soon after I birthed the placenta that was put in a low baking dish. I wasn't too worried about birthing the placenta quick after birthing the baby in theory but the midwife said it would feel better to have it out - and she was right. With little effort it was out and it felt wonderful to be empty of pregnancy. The midwife suggested I take ibuprofen so I asked my mom to get some - with a few strawberries (my gestational diabetes left no room for fruit, so I was excited to have fruit - but nervous to have too much yet). Yum! Sweet strawberries!!
About this time I felt a warm stream of pee go down my side - a ton of pee! So we knew her systems were working.
There was talk of how much she weighed. The midwives had predicted 7.5ish lbs before she was born. I said 7lbs 3oz because Noah was 8lbs 3oz and Del was 9lbs 3oz and I hoped this baby was smaller. Now that this human was visible, the midwife said she looked smaller than 7lbs but no one was rushing to do a newborn exam. There was all the time in the world for that later.

The midwives disappeared. The grandmothers and Ren Man and the kids all gathered close. I'm not sure what everyone else was doing, I couldn't stop staring at this perfect person who had just been inside of me. I could not believe all the vernix, even thicker in every crevice. You could tell Noah was excited because he just.kept.talking. Del said she was tired but wanted to snuggle with Grammy for a few minutes. My mom went to her bed. Noah kept.talking. We told Noah it was a big exciting night but he needed to get some more sleep, it was the middle of the night. So he reluctantly went to his bed.
Soon I heard: "Mom, it's too late."
"What do you mean?" I called back to Noah.
"It's too light outside. It's morning time," he called back.
"Just try closing your eyes," I suggested.
I didn't hear from him again.

The midwives returned and felt how low the uterus was (hard and shrinking - yay). I asked about weighing the baby and they did that as Ren Man slept with his head at the footboard. She was 6lbs even. Unreal! I grew a little baby!! The midwife was so pleased - pleased about the baby's size and pleased she'd been present at the birth.
"how are you feeling?" I asked, remembering she had also been struggling physically this whole time. She assured me that they would go to the ER when they left.
The midwife stayed with the baby to do her newborn check while the assistant walked me to the bathroom. I was surprised to pee a ton!
With me and the baby settled back into bed, the midwives said their goodbyes, which felt bitter-sweet. The baby laid on my belly and I dozed, finding that I was so very tired. I was also hungry. I was half-asleep at times and half forgetting that the baby was outside now, because her squirms and kicks on my belly felt the same outside as they had when she was inside.

The next morning, everyone woke around 8am. Ren Man brought the most delicious sweetened yogurt with granola and strawberries. I took a picture of the placenta (our second lotus birth), still attached to our baby.

Noah grabbed the camera and enthusiastically took pictures for the rest of the day.
The moms grabbed the laundry (mostly towels) from the bedroom and whisked off the laundry.
All that heartburn had been for a reason. Her hair is exactly like Noah's as a newborn.
We got a good look at her eyes. Noah's had immediately looked brown and Del's were seeming more brown but was unclear. This baby has the more typical slate grey color...

Cruising through Facebook (and honestly stressing a bit about when and what to post), I saw that our midwife had posted saying that while she's very pro-alternative medicine, she was feeling thankful for western medicine as she'd had emergency gall bladder surgery. It wasn't hard to put two and two together - she'd gone to the emergency room after attending my birth and had emergency surgery! I don't know, I've never had gall stones, but from what I've been told by women who have birthed and had stones - stones are worse. It's like birth, with no break between contractions and no baby at the end! Wow, just wow.

When the midwives returned for a one day checkup, the baby was down to 5lbs 10oz. At her 3 day checkup she was 5lbs 140z.
Nursing this baby is like nursing for the first time. With Noah I was wondering if it was my positioning or an incorrect latch. Now I just know that it takes a week or so for breasts to be acclimated to their new role. And seeing her bounce back weight-wise was affirming. (And yes, my midwife who had had emergency gall bladder surgery after nights of being in so much pain she couldn't sleep, was at our house a day later to check on us.)

Our parents are always very respectful of our parenting choices and trust us to make the decisions we think are best for our family. Apparently this isn't typical.
Having said that, my mom had some reservations about a home birth which she balanced with her trust in me - not just to be able to birth but to have done the research about home birth. The next day, it was so cool to hear both of our moms say that they felt very strongly positively towards homebirth after witnessing this. They pointed out benefits that I hadn't even thought of - like the amount of attention and care received in your home, versus out of your home where the care providers are potentially responsible for many women at once.

The midwife pointed out that we got our small baby and our home birth. And it wasn't always certain this was going to end this way, given the gestational diabetes. She asked how I felt pushing compared when it happened spontaneously (like this time) versus with intention (like the last births). That soon after birth, I wasn't sure. It was nice to be done so quickly and for it to just happen ... but it wasn't so fun to feel out of control of the pressure being put on my body. With more time to think about it, this is the way to go.

Name: Rye Lorraine
Birthdate: June 17th
Time: 2:58am
Weight: 6lbs
length: 19"

Writing out my memories it became clear that the timing and/or details that I wanted to remember were at times fuzzy. Actual active labor to birth was about 6 hours - but it felt like maybe 2. So I'm not sure events are necessarily in the right order - especially during those 6 hours. And I'm sure I'm forgetting details. She'll be a week old tomorrow and I can't believe how fast the time has gone! I'm relishing every moment because Del and Noah are a constant reminder of how fast Rye will grow.

Pelvic Girdle Pain

You know how I said pregnancy wasn't a disability and I can listen to my body and everyone else just needs to calm down. People are pregnant all.the.time - and our population continues to grow - so I'm thinking me continuing with a normal life isn't going to change that.

I also said a long time ago that having a baby doesn't change your life that much. After all, we had Noah and life continued relatively unchanged. Then we had Del. And she demanded we alter our on-the-go lifestyle to accommodate her napping/feeding/bedtime needs.
Now we're pregnant. So things will probably slow down a bit after the baby is born, but we can prepare for that. Up until then - farming as usual .

And then there's Pelvic Girdle Pain, less commonly known as symphisis pubis pain. If you're pregnant too, don't read further - I don't even want you to know this is an option. Apparently PGP effects 80% of pregnant women ... but I'd never heard of it before. The main symptoms are extreme pain while walking, carrying, or rolling over in bed (and most noticeable pain at night). It is apparently most uncomfortable to push a cart while going grocery shopping. If only.

So Ren Man has, despite his strong feelings that pregnancy is part of life and not a disability, taken on all the chores he can - and even more than he probably should (for example, going and doing everything except milking - namely throwing/carrying hay bales and hauling buckets of water - before going off for a 12hour day of cooking at work).

After hesitating to look up "burning c^o-ch" on google - because who knows?! - I remembered a more appropriate "pelvic" word and opened a world of PGP. But at first it seemed the only solution was staying on all fours as much as possible. I imagined this. And realized there really isn't a lot of time where being on all fours would be appropriate in my life ... or arguably any adult's life. After more digging other possibilities have emerged. The issue (in theory - no one is sure) seems to be too much relaxin too early in pregnancy - so a pelvis that is normally 1-3mm spread, could be 10mm spread too soon. Anecdotally this seems to lead to a faster second stage of birth (I'll take it!). In the meantime - there's walking, carrying, and moving in bed to contend with.
As I said, on all fours is a good idea - or really anything that gets the weight of the baby off of your pelvis (and I say this a little perplexed because I'm not that far along and the baby is reportedly the size of a papaya), like getting into water. The cat-camel exercise is helpful. I've also heard sitting on a yoga ball is good, and having a pillow between your legs while side-sleeping to keep your hips even. I read more than once not to "push through the pain" - which is what I'd been doing when it was more mild, after all - what choice did I have? Cows need to be fed and watered.

More intensively, you can seek out professionals with prenatal training. Professionals include physical therapists, masseuse, osteopaths, acupuncturists, and chiropractors. Living where we do, these are not options. I did set up a consult with my MD, who is also an osteopath, for later this week. She has not special prenatal training - thus the consult instead of a straight up appointment. I'm hopeful.

This just complicates that whole gestational diabetes thing. It helps TREMENDOUSLY to do any kind of exercise, even "exercise" - like walking in circles in the living room - to bring down your numbers. Well, when your pelvic girdle is on fire and you are trying to minimize movement, exercise loses its importance really.

And I looked up birth complications. I assumed I would squat, as I did for Del, very successfully. But the goal in all the managing of PGP is to keep your legs together. Squatting is very painful right now. Which is sad. Because I was upping my squatting practice. From what I've read, all fours will be most comfortable (there it is again!) for the birth. I've also read that the birth will be overwhelming enough that PGP will not even be noticed.

Have you had this?! What helped? What didn't? What was your birth like? Any suggestions at all?!?

US Maternal Mortality Crisis?

 

Back in '08 I wrote about this book I still feel every person should read.
Every person.
Required reading for college freshman seminar.
That's how important this book is.
Did I say required?

I continue to be passionate about birth (I was told this passion would subside the further from that stage of life I was ... I now don't have the opportunity to pull out my soap box regularly but I still feel passionate!).

On the Pushed blog there was recently this frightening image from Amnesty International with statistics backing the term "The U.S. Maternal Health Care Crisis".

Now, I know there are concerns about maternal health care in this country - but a "crisis"?
Really?
Well, if one considers a pregnant woman nearly dies every 15 minutes in this country due to pregnancy related complications a high frequency
or
that 49 countries have a lower maternal mortality ratios than this country is ridiculous (and yet, according to Science and Sensibility the average cost of maternal health care is twice as high in the US as any other country) (An additional side note: the US has the highest maternity related deaths when compared to all developed nations. Countries with lower maternal mortality include Kuwait, Bulgaria, Croatia, Turkey, Portugal, United Arab Emirates, and more, obviously)

as stated on the amnesty U.S. maternal health care website 6.6 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1987 and in 2006 there were 13.3 deaths per 100,000 live births

that's sounds pretty critical to me.

The solution? How are other countries saving more of their moms and babies?
Pregnancy does not always end in a live baby or a live mother.
But we can obviously increase the chances of healthy mom and baby.
But how?

There's a growing demand for home births.
This seems like the place to start.
Obstetricians dictionary definition: "A physician or surgeon qualified to practice in obstetrics"
Wait, a surgeon? At birth?
98% of pregnancies are healthy.
So why are less than 1% of pregnancies experiencing minimal intervention through a home birth?
It doesn't make sense to me that a qualified surgeon would spend their time sitting patiently with women while they go through their birth process.

What do you think the solution is? Is there a solution for this country? Is the above even a crisis? We may be listed as 49 but the maternal death rates are so so low when ranking the top countries, does it matter?

Early days of parenting:: link round up and end of post

There are pros and cons to every decision in life.
I couldn't wait to have children.
I couldn't.
In fact, if you know me, you're impressed with how long I did wait!

That meant we had children young.
Or so we're told.
We can't imagine (more I can't imagine) if we had waited longer.
So now a lot of our peers are having their first babies.

And they're asking for advice.
And they're getting it.
From me.
From their mom.
Their best friend.
The stranger on the street.

Advice is good - take what works, leave the rest.
I have written more than one person book-length emails on things I found helpful. I alway say: I wish I knew then what I know now, so I want to give anyone interested all the information I can so they can start with more than I had!

And it's fun.
It's fun to share your insights based on experience.
But I wouldn't want anyone to choose I what I chose (or wish I chose) because I said to.
I want it to be part of the puzzle of information they get and then re-work into their own life in a way that works for them.
So cosleeping worked for us when the babies were very young. Around 7mos we transitioned the kids out of our bed. It wasn't the plan ahead of time, just what worked out for us both times.
So if a friend decides cosleeping isn't working for them - great - if they decide cosleeping until their child is off at college - great. Whatever works.
My husband will tell you that sometimes (more often than I'll admit) someone will choose something that I am so so very not okay with - even if it does feel like it works for them.
Yes, judging.
I don't see that as a bad thing - everyone judges all the time. It's how you decide if what you're doing is what works or if you should try something else.
Having said all of that ... here are some websites for parents to be, new parents, or just curious people that I have found helpful in my parenting experience:


Kelly Mom (all breastfeeding questions you could possibly have can be found here)
Dr. Sears pediatrician who has 8 kids, one special needs, one adopted (so the gamut) who wrote several books with his wife on pregnancy, birth, baby, etc that I have found immeasurably helpful
The Babywearer babywearing was a.m.a.z.i.n.g with Ark Boy and I lived on the forum here after his birth
Mothering when you're ready for attachment parenting at it's most intense this is the place to go - very important here to take what works for you and leave the rest. It can be overwhelming in size as well as passion for natural parenting. It's mostly the forum I use on this site.

I've been asked about book resources several times too so that might be a future post...

Why I think I might be an anarchist

The definition of anarchist according to thefreedictionary.com is:

anarchist [ˈænəkɪst]
n
1. (Government, Politics & Diplomacy) a person who advocates the abolition of government and a social system based on voluntary cooperation
2. a person who causes disorder or upheaval

I think generally I'm a peaceful person - I like everyone to be happy.
But I also resent being told what is best for me when I don't agree with said "best".
This comes out in my thoughts about healthcare.
It seems unreasonable that choosing a homebirth which is statistically safer would not be covered by insurance and lead to headache after headache when trying to obtain birth certificates, etc. It seems unreasonable that this health decision is made by the powers that be when not only is this safer birth not covered by insurance it is also illegal in many states.
It seems unreasonable that when you choose to make an informed decision about vaccinations - if those decisions lead to a child not vaccinated on the CDC's schedule then exemption forms need to be filled out before a child can enter public (and private) school. Since when does school have control over private health care decisions?!?
So I think I might be leaning towards anarchy. It might be too chaotic, I'm not sure.
So anarchy lite? Thankful we can move to a more secluded life ... perhaps a culture that is not any more comfortable with alternative though ... While it will be a fight to unschool I don't think the fight will be as great as it is with healthcare decisions. (Don't even get me started on everyone's concern about health insurance and our secluded life where we work for ourselves - that's a whole 'nother rant!) Hopefully. I don't know though - we have a 4.5 year old as an oldest so no one is too worried yet. We'll see what happens in the next couple years.

the world shifts

I got a call around 4am yesterday morning.
A friend said she was having contractions and maybe I should come.
In the pre-dawn hours it was magical to think of how the world shifts a little to accomodate each new person.
I kissed my husband goodbye.
He reminded me that I needed to get the kids that afternoon so he could go to a meeting.
I asked him to swap cars in front of our friend's house after he dropped the kids off in the morning at their "school".
I mentally ran through that days to-do list and knew it could all wait.
It could all shift to another day.
Today was this baby's day of birth and that was most important.
Our car was out on the road when it normally is tucked into a pile of leaves on the side of the road in front of our house.
The lights were on at my friends house when normally the house would be dark.
Their bed was made in layers to accomodate the coming baby and its fluids.
The birth boxes were waiting in the living room.
Things not in their usual spots.
Everything shifts.
Priorities change in a moment.
All for a baby.
It's magical.

The birth was incredible but it's not my story to tell. My story is just the part where I was amazed to be present. I'm often feeling haried. Racing from one commitment to the next. So refreshing to think: is this all THAT important?
No.
It can all wait.
All of it.
That's a relief!

Congratulations Momma, Daddy, Big Sister, and Baby Sister.

On Birth

This entry has been floating around in my brain for a while
(mostly while trying to fall asleep)
and it has been really inspired...
while in my head.
No promises now that pen is to paper so-to-speak.

It's tricky to talk about birth
or at least
it seems to be
Whenever anyone finds out your pregnant
(particularly for the first time)
"experienced" moms come out of the woodwork to share their birth stories
read horror stories
like:
"I was in labor for 43 hours and it was torture
I almost died
but then I got my epidural
then the baby almost died
so I had an emergency c-section
thank goodness....
good luck!
in the end it's all worth it" (big smile)
(the above is a compilation of several comments overheard and spoken directly to me when I'm the pregnant mom-to-be).
This is soooo frustrating.
It doesn't have to be this way.
But it has become the normal in our culture.
So sad.
Yeah, it's hard
this whole giving birth thing
possibly the hardest thing you've ever done
(but not necessarily)
but incredibly you survive
no
wait
you more than survive.
You can do this
You were made to do this (let me quickly say: this does not mean it is a woman's "purpose" or only means to "fullfillment" or anything similiar- only that your body is designed to do this and CAN do it without intervention).
So often the reason that women "almost die" or babies "almost die" and are miraculously rescued by the heroic medical professional is because of the interventions earlier introduced to the birthing process by that very same professional- often without mom's (or dad's or anyone else not paid to be present at the birth) knowledge.
I am not for one second trying to say that medical professionals are trying to put moms and babies in dangerous situations.
I think often these situations arise because medical professionals (primarily thinking of ob's but also nurses and some midwives- depending on their background) have only seen the approximately 2% of abnormal, scary, emergency births.
When faced with a normal birth it is boring, often long, and intervention (from the johnny to the iv/hep loc to the c-section) is completely unecessary and actually adds to the danger of giving birth.
For something like 98% of births the ideal situation is for the mom to birth in whatever way she wishes.
Unfortunately as a culture we are not exposed to normal birth.
We see "A baby story" and hear the horror stories of those that have gone before so when in the situation of birth we have the script we're supposed to follow.
For me, that meant insisting on getting in the bed and really really wanting to lie down when it was ready for Noah to be emerge- despite encouragement from the midwife to choose any other position besides lieing down.
And when we "fail" (ie the birth ends up not being what we envisioned) we blame ourselves (ie I couldn't do it) when really there are often so many things stacked against the normal "ideal" birth that we all crave.

I don't know what to tell moms who are expecting their first baby any day.
I want to say that it will be hard.
But not impossible by any stretch.
In fact- it's very very doable and when you've done it....
well... you've done it!
You! Strong, powerful, magnificent, Momma!
Expect it to be hard work....
but wait!
Don't listen to that person who is insisting that you will be begging for the epidural and that it will be completely unbearable.
A large portion of the challenge of birth is your expectation.
If you expect it to be impossible.... like anything in life... it will be.
If you expect that you can do it.... well- you will!
And if things don't turn out exactly like you had envisioned know that you did the absolute best you could and the interventions have their place and are wonderful when used responsibly.
Also know that if it doesn't go as you had hoped (and I hate to even entertain the thought because I want to assume that you will without making you feel pressured to perform) know that while everyone says: "at least you have a healthy baby and mom!" that it's okay to mourn the loss of the experience you were hoping for.
Yes, obviously healthy baby and mom are desired but that doesn't mean that a healthy birth is not also a valid desire.
In the end it is YOUR birth.
Not mine
not the birth attendant's
or your partner's
or anyone else's
and the birth decisions you make are yours alone to make (okay- so yes, the partner maybe should have some input too...)
There's more I could say but the two babies I have birthed are needing their mom:)
And because my sister loves pictures here is a picture of each baby within an hour of their births...
births that I'm thrilled to have experienced.

Noah

Del

Pushed

Everyone and their brother should read this book... and their mother, sister, father, husband, friend... well, everyone!
I'm not exaggerating at all.
This book is obviously particularly pertinent if you plan on ever having a baby or perhaps plan on knowing someone who will have a baby.
What's shocking about the information in this well written and researched book is that so many (I would argue 99%) of people take what the medical community says as truth never questioning them.
This is sad.
Truly.
I have had two wonderful births.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
I can't ever go back a re-do my births- and in comparison to most I had amazing births!- but if I can help anyone else start a little further along on the road to informed consent BEFORE entering the dizzying world of maternity care then it's been worth the ride so far.
What adds to my concern around these issues is the fact that even women who are actively seeking information still often end up under the knife.
At a recent playgroup that is geared towards Mothering parents, a self selected natural living type of parent- 40% of us had had cesareans!
That shocks me.
These are women who are typically proactive in their maternity care and very pro natural everything- and yet 40% had c-sections!
As with all discussions about maternity care and the dismal state it is in in our country I feel compelled to insert a disclaimer reassuring all that yes- c-sections have their place and thank goodness they are available for those that truly need them- but 40%?!?!
No.
40% of American women are not somehow unable to birth children naturally.
That's impossible.
Our species would die out.
It makes absolutely no sense.
And it's not just c-sections.
It's routine fetal monitoring, the flat on your back position, the routine IV, the expectation that you WILL need some sort of pain killer... the list goes on and on.
Never mind the interventions that immediately follow births across the country performed on mother and baby with little to no information given to parents describing the risks and benefits.
The fact that the majority of births are attended by ob's in this country is frightening.
Ob's are surgeons.
They perform surgery.
And they are very good at it.
In a good way (I'm not trying to be facetious).
In light of the fact that they are surgeons they should not be asked to administer to a woman in labor.
Labor is generally a long process that is on the mother's and baby's timetable.
Unfortunately doctors have a timetable too and two don't always mesh.
Being in the care of an ob when experiencing a normal pregnancy is scary.
I'm not exaggerating.
It frightens me.
The idea of seeing an ob for a normal pregnancy.
And yet the majority of women in this country see obs.
And what's more frightening- the sensible alternative- which should in fact be the norm- not the alternative- the midwife- is often illegal!
I should stop.
I could go on for days.
But the book has already been written.
Read it.
Everyone.
If you need me to buy it for you- I will.
Better yet, borrow it from your library.
I did.
Well- I borrowed it from my library to be honest- but yours will hopefully have a copy also.
It was so good.
I bought it.
So if you need a copy- I have one.
Read it.

Del's Birth Story

Here are some quick stats first:
name: Del (Madeleine) Sarah
date: March 27, 2008
time: 1:36pm
weight: 9lbs 3 ¾oz
length: 20”
head: 37cm (significant because evidently this is 2cm larger than the average large baby's head!)

On a wed night I had a couple braxton hicks that felt different. I was woken up a couple times that night but they weren't coming stronger or faster. On Thursday morning I had my regularly scheduled midwife appt. She offered to check me. 4cm, 0 station, and 75% effaced. I asked about effacement because with Noah I checked into the hospital at 4cm and 100%. She said most woman don't efface completely after the first baby. So I could go anytime.
By Saturday I had severe tailbone pain and was having trouble finding a comfy position to do anything in. I called the midwife on call to explain and she said she thought the baby may have dropped more and that's why- not to worry.
On Tuesday I decided to go see my midwife because I was SOOO uncomfortable. She checked me again. 5cm. Great. The midwife said I wasn't in active labor but I could be- I was sooo ready. So I started wondering if there was anything holding me back emotionally or whatever from having this baby. I couldn't think of anything.
Wednesday was the same- more miserable- ouchy tailbone.
Wednesday night I didn't sleep much but I hadn't slept much at night for a week and assumed these would stop when it got light out like it had on previous nights. So I didn't wake Josh- I wanted him to be well rested. We were prepared to UC and I wanted him to be super ready.
I had a regularly scheduled midwife appt that morning and my mom was coming to hang out with Noah. I called and told her she should bring clothes for a couple nights... just in case.
I went into our bedroom around 6:30am and rocked through a contraction. I felt Josh get antsy/annoyed with me moving. When he woke up more he was on instant alert. He hadn't woken at all through the night- good to know.- especially because I had gone in to settle Noah a couple times in the night and was kind of annoyed the Josh hadn't:)
Anyway, I was moving and swaying through contractions. Called a friend (Kate- we had due date twins and she had had her baby about a week before). I told her I didn't want this baby anymore:) When I got off the phone I told Josh that I assumed when we went to the appt they would send us to the hospital and I wasn't sure I wanted to go. Josh suggested calling and canceling the appt and I should decide if I wanted to go to the hospital or not.
In the end I said I wanted to go. I called the midwife and waited for my mom to get to our house.
At the hospital the room with the jacuzzi (my main motivation for going to the hospital) was in use and we couldn't use that room. The midwife said she'd check me if I wanted her to but she would prefer to do minimal checks. I asked her to check and said I was prepared to only be 5cm still. I was 8cm and 100%! I was psyched. She said I could push anytime I felt like it and she got things ready. She was very concerned about invading our space so just said to call if we needed her but she didn't want to interrupt the flow. Unfortunately they had to have a couple people come in and do the questionnaire stuff. So first a nurse came in and said she had to draw blood and then they would hook up my i.v.
Me: why do I need an i.v.
Her: uhhh, well, we'll just put a little catheter in just in case because we're drawing blood anyway.
Me: A hep lock? I don't want one- it'll bother me.
Her: I'll check with Mary (the midwife)
It wasn't mentioned again.
A resident came in to have me sign a vaginal/csection birth release thing:/
She said they are doing a study where they draw blood to see if there's any toxic metals in the blood.
Her: We just get the blood from the cord
Me: Okay- how are you going to do that when it's still attached?
Her: Oh- we get it from the other end
Me: What end? Where the placenta is? That's staying attached.
Her: (looking confused) Umm, we just can take the blood after it's clamped.
Me: Oh- it won't be clamped.
Her: (more confused look)
Me: the placenta is staying attached to the baby
(Josh just came in and saw this and said the conversation was way longer than that)

Then she asked about hep B.
Me: Oh no, we're not going to do that.
Her: Okay- are you going to do any vaccines?
Me: No. (Start contraction)
Her: Can I ask why not? (is she serious??!)
Me: Ummm- we just think there are risks to getting vaccines and risks to getting whatever they are preventing and we'd prefer to take the “risk” of what the vaccines are preventing.
Her: Oh- okay (end contraction)

And then:
Her: Are you going to take anything for the pain?
Me: I'm 8cm- what are they going to do?

After she left the midwife came in and asked if I would mind if some student nurses came to the birth. She was clear she wanted to give everyone a job- it wasn't helpful to have people standing around staring at a birthing woman. I agreed that they could come.
In walks their professor and 2 students.
Their professor is our last landlady.
She's very high strung- that's why we moved from her apartment when Noah was 5 weeks old.
She recognizes me. And is nice. Sort of.
Then she directs the students to the machine and explains that they'll mostly be looking at the machine. *roll eyes*
When they leave the room I hear the landlady tell the students she can't be in the room with me- for apparently obvious reasons- but the students can be. Thank goodness!

Contractions have slowed down but I'm still rocking through them. Underwear-less I want to be on the side of the room where Josh is (opposite the door) and don't want to be in bed at all (apparently upsetting one of the interns). When the midwife comes in to see how we're doing I tell her about the landlady and the silly intern. She kind of rolls her eyes and says we just have to educate them. She evidently can't stand our x-landlady either and tries really hard to not take it out on her students:)
I asked if I could eat something- I was starving (I'd only had about 6 edamame that morning for breakfast). The midwife said she wasn't worried about my pancreas and I could have whatever (!!!) I wanted. She also said she didn't think I ever had gd- I disagree but that's okay. So I ordered pizza, oj, and a cookie. And was “allowed” to EAT during labor. It was fantastic and sooo yummy.
Standing/swaying/on my knees etc. on the far side of the bed moving through contractions Mary asks if one of the students can hang out with us to see what this is like.
I don't mind- and I'm all about exposing people to normal births.
I hear Mary tell her she should come and watch- you won't often see a woman on the floor rocking through contractions and I'm doing everything right. My nurse and the student nurse were saying that they were amazed how well I was doing. The student nurse asked if I had taken birth classes (Bradley last time, hypnobabies this time). The nurse said I should teach a class. (Side note: In hindsight Josh says my class would be: it's really easy in the beginning and then when you start pushing you just scream really loud... I don't know why the laboring part was so easy this time- maybe because I spent so much of it at home- I think the tools I learned to relax through hypnobabies helped too but I didn't listen to any of the cds once at the hospital- I didn't think I could be still and I wasn't confident about my “center switch”).
The student nurse hung out for an hour or so and was really nice. I ended up asking her to leave though because I was getting too chatty and the contractions were not coming.
Finally I was getting sick of everything and asked Mary to check and maybe break my water. (With Noah it was broken at 4cm and that really got things moving- this time I wanted to keep in in tact as long as possible- just to see what would happen). There was questionable leaking already so she said she'd check. I was 9cm (thankfully at the time I didn't really register that I had only progressed a cm in 4 hours). She said that there was a little bit of a bag left and offered to break it. I was more than happy to let her- I was done. I asked if I was in transition- why hadn't I felt “done” earlier. She said she doesn't read text books (I love my midwife:))
She said there was a little bit of a lip but it wasn't stopping anything from happening. She asked me to push with the next contraction and she would move the lip at the same time. We did that a couple times.
I was standing by the bed and sometimes lowering myself but not squatting.
Mary said there was some meconium so she had a ped stand outside the door and then gave everyone in the room a job- the 2 nursing students, a nurse, and the resident.
I kept pushing and pushing but it seemed not to be doing anything.
It was cool looking behind me and seeing the midwife- she was rubbing her hands together and getting all excited:) In between pushing the midwife said she just wanted to orient me to the room- so she told me where everyone was standing and what their role in the birth was. I thought that was so neat that she thought to do that.
Then she wanted me to push with the contractions. I told her I wanted to look at the monitor to make sure I was pushing at the *right* time. She said the monitor was silly and I knew better than it did so to push when I wanted. I didn't really want to... I told her I was done. (after the fact Josh said he's not sure what he would have done at home if I refused to push- which is kind of what I was doing). The midwife really pushed (no pun intended) me to push. She *made* me squat and was pushing on a spot on my back telling me to push into her finger. She also had her finger inside to move things out of the way. She was really encouraging. I was screaming like a tribal woman or something.
(in between pushes)
Me: I'm scaring everyone!
Everyone: No, no- you're doing great- no one is scared.
Me: The people in the hallway- I'm scaring them
Everyone: No, you're not- you're doing exactly what you should do.

I was a little nervous I was turning the students off of natural birth.
At one point I said: “t-shirt off now”- and that was the end of clothes. I was HOT. At times I felt some relief and would think the head was finally coming but it would just be the midwife's finger coming out. The midwife told the resident to be ready to catch the baby because she was going to support my perineum and really didn't want me to tear. When the baby's head FINALLY coming she told me to feel for it and that I should try to catch the baby.
I was saying: ring of fire- I feel the ring.
I had intended to try not to push but I was sooo DONE that I was pushing whenever I could. Last time I remember feeling weird about touching the baby's head- it was like touching your bits with a whole room of people watching. This time it was really motivating (I think partly because the baby was further down). The midwife encouraged me to keep holding her head and to grab her. At some point I let go though because I needed to brace myself on the edge of the bed again. Finally the baby came out and the midwife was yelling at the resident: let go- I'm talking to you, you, YOU- let go of the baby!
Then the midwife gave me the baby between my legs and guided me to turn around and sit down because she was worried that I was too weak to be standing.
It was such a relief to get this person out. And lots of thoughts of not doing this again for a VERY long time. I sat in bed and the midwife said something about “he”.
Me: Oh- it's a boy?
Her: I don't know- check.
(someone else goes to check)
Her: let Sarah check.
Me:... it's a girl- we made a girl!
I couldn't believe it. I wanted a boy because then Noah would have a brother but I really wanted a girl also because I'm a girl and I think girls are pretty cool. I searched the room for Josh and found him standing at the foot of the bed, tucked out of the way from all the personnel in the room. He was all teary but then I was back in the moment of holding our baby. I was kind of sad that there was so much physical distance between us but there were so many people in the room and he was trying to stay out of the way.
The midwife said I would need a stitch. I was near begging for a shot of something before she stitched. She insisted that it would be fine- one stitch- it tore a little where my 2nd degree tear from Noah was. She put analgesic on it and it really wasn't bad at all when she stitched. She was feeling bad that I tore at all but I didn't care. We got out the placenta and she was very protective of the connection between the baby and the placenta for me.
Josh and I started discussing names. I think Sadie was definitely out- she didn't look like a Sadie. She kind of looked like Lydia but neither of us loved that name. Finally we settled on Del (short for Madeleine Sarah). (I keep telling people when they ask her name “Del short for Madeleine”- I'm trying to just say “Del” when people ask). So we kept playing with the name Del and decided we just needed to commit.

They weighed her. When the midwife saw that she was 9.3 she didn't feel so bad about the tear:)
We wanted to go home asap. I wanted to call my mom and have her come asap too. So Josh went to call my mom. I asked if we needed to go to a postpartum room. They said we didn't if we were just going home.
They tested Del's sugar. It was 25. She was already nursing so the midwife asked that they test again in ½ an hour. She was baffled by why it was low- she thought maybe the oj. She said that if it wasn't over 40...well, over 35, she was going to call in a pediatric team because she didn't want to mess around. (some medical background: I was born with a condition called nesidioblastosis- my pancreas produced too much sugar. Evidently it's hereditary/chromosomal but no one else in my family has it so we weren't too worried- until Del's sugar was low.)
½ hour later it was 36. The midwife still wasn't too too happy so she asked us to stay the night. Naturally we were very okay with doing that given Del's sugar.
My mom came and brought Noah. Noah was very into the baby. He was also very into mommy milk. I let him nurse (him: yum!) but have since decided that I don't want to tandem. After an hour or so my mom and Noah went home and would come back later.

When they tested Del's sugar again it was 76. The midwife was happy to let her not be tested again until morning. I cleaned up in the bathroom a bit and then the nurse suggested we bathe Del and then move to a postpartum room. I had recently read information about not bathing a new baby and told the nurse I'd like to only wash her hair- and I'd like to do it. They were thankfully okay with that. I think it helped that Del's skin was clean. It was soo cool this time rubbing in vernix and feeling all her softness.

Finally around 5 we moved to a postpartum room. Between birth and moving to the postpartum room Del had passed meconium 4 times! The nurse from the labor part (it's all on the same floor) said she wouldn't be our nurse anymore but our nurse would come check on us soon.... At 7:15 I finally buzzed the nurses station and asked when a nurse was going to check on us and we'd like some dinner. Kathleen is evidently our nurse and will be down shortly.
At 8 Kim (not Kathleen) comes with a tray and explains that the cafeteria is closed but here's a sandwich. Argh! I ask about getting a peri bottle (it had been left in the birth room). The peri bottle never came...
We ate and got all settled and went to sleep around 9. Josh was exhausted- but felt bad for being so tired when he wasn't up with me the night before.
At midnight it was like a comedy nurse act that busted into our room announcing they needed vitals and to take the baby to the nursery to weigh her. Why midnight- I don't know why- but all the babies get wheeled to the nursery at midnight at this hospital to be weighed. I asked if I could go too- I was hoping they would be speedier if I went with her. They suggested Josh go instead- I had just had a baby and should rest. I was annoyed because I knew I was in better shape than Josh but couldn't be bothered to argue further. I opted to take an ibuprofin because the afterpains were waking me up. They asked how my legs were feeling. I didn't know why at first until they asked if I had had an epidural. They also asked if I was using the anaglesic, witch hazel pads, and the peri bottle. I explained that it was left in the birth room. They look shocked and one goes off to get replacements. At this point what's the point though- I've been doing fine without for hours...
Anyway Josh left with Del to go get weighed.
I hear the nurse in the nursery: Is this your first baby?.... (presumably Josh responded- he's rather quiet)...Oh, second, well- when you change a diaper...
I was thinking- you are KIDDING!!! You're giving this man diapering lessons (never mind his experience) at midnight!?!? I hear a baby crying. Not sure if it's Del but I can't relax. So I get out of bed. Find pj's and traipse down to the nursery where I see the nurse is re-diapering Del. Then we go back to our room with instructions to call them when we wake up sometime after 3am so they can do vitals again. Oh- so at midnight Del was 8lbs 14oz- evidently that will happen when you poop a million times:)
Things are rather uneventful- thankfully- for the rest of the night.
Anyone who does come to see us suggests we bathe Del. I explain that we washed her hair- does she look dirty? No one seems to think she looks dirty but everyone seems to think she needs a bath. I promise everyone that we will bathe her when we go home *roll eyes* Everyone is concerned about the placenta. The nursery nurse gives Josh a plastic biohazard bag to put it in “so it won't dry out”- ummm, that's the point. She apparently asked if we were doing this for religious reasons- I told Josh: Yes, the religion of crunchy... Another nurse says we will probably have to carry this thing around with us for 2 weeks! We just thank her for the information (lotus birth placentas usually fall off before the cord would have). At this point the cord is already much smaller than it originally was. Oh- I did ask one of the comedy nurses (I'm just calling them that because it was a pair of them and they were both bumbling around and seemed a little ridiculous) what we needed to do to arrange breakfast because we had somehow been looked over for dinner.
Nurse: well, when was the baby born
Me: 1:30 but we didn't come over here until around 5
Nurse: Oh, well that's why- you missed ordering your food- you do that in the morning (smile smile)
Hmm- so everyone at this hospital evidently typically gives birth by 7am and then moves to the postpartum side and orders their food... if only I had known- silly me!
Around 6am the woman comes to get Del for a hearing test. I ask to go. The woman is fine with me going but suggests Josh stay in our room because the testing room is small. When we get to the testing room she says- I see you're doing a lotus birth. I'm impressed and pleased she knows what it's called. She explains that she's a doula and does reiki too. I told her people seem freaked out about the placenta. She's very reassuring. It was a nice breath of fresh air.
Around 7am our new nurse comes. She's a weird mix of nice and not nice. I was very clear that our plan was to leave asap. I said that Del needed her sugar tested, we needed the doctor to check us, and we needed to fill out whatever discharge papers were needed. We were also going to wait until Del was 24 hours old to get the PKU done. She said we'd have to wait for the doctor for the discharge papers- I should just relax. Argh- I would- if we were home!
She checks Del's sugar level- it's 60 something so they aren't worried. She tells me around 10 that the doctor called and will be in shortly. At 11:30 I buzz the nurse's station.
Me: Do you know when the doctor will be here?
Nurse: No I don't. Click.
Nice. At 1:30 I go to the nurse's station and ask the nurse there if there's any way to contact the doctor- we'd like to leave. That nurse calls the doctor and reports that she'll be here soon.
Soon- like 3 hours soon? Argh.
I tell Josh that I want them to come and do the PKU- he suggests waiting until after the doctor comes to check us out.
The doctor came around 1:40 and was awesome (she's the midwife's backup and I really like her- despite her delay in coming to see us). She got a nurse to come and do the PKU. Someone from vital records came to give us a temp birth certificate (although she tried to give us “Keagan's” at first:)). I asked if we needed to do anything else or if we could go. The vital records lady said if the doctor had checked us out then we are okay to go.
So I walked purposefully towards the nurse's station and (unfortunately) our nurse was sitting filling out paperwork. I asked if we could go.
Nurse: oh no- we have to finish the discharge papers and then there's a shift change.

ARRRGGHHH! It's now 3pm. I wait until 3:20 and go back to the nurse's station. The nurse there says that they have a shift overlap type meeting to go over patients' status info- she would go get someone.
FINALLY a nurse comes and gives us paperwork and tries to give us our “free” diaper bag from enfamil. I said we'd leave it as a kind of protest.
Nurse: well it's a breastfeeding support bag (points to big BREASTFEEDING printed on the tag)
Me: Yep, but I think it's from Enfamil (points to enfamil logo on bag)
Nurse: (chuckled non commitally)
Josh pick up all our bags, I snuggle with Del and we head for the door.
Nurse: wait- let me give you a copy of your discharge paper.

Okay- sure.
We leave our room. As we pass the nurse's station a nurse looks shocked and asks about a car seat.
It's in the car.
It's a convertible.
They can come and see it if they want to.
Then we can't find the exit door. Someone directs us to the door. I'm feeling a little sore walking so fast but I want them to be confident in our discharge.
Outside of the maternity unit we slow down.
We make our way to the hospitals exit.
Phew.
Finally.

At home Noah is happy to see us but even more happy to see this baby that we've brought home. By the time we got home I was sooo sick of carrying around the placenta with Del and her cord was REALLY dry. Josh boiled scissors and we cut it. Then we let Noah hold the baby.
He was thrilled.
For the rest of the day it was hard to get her away from him.

Right before his bedtime I was nursing Del and it took a lot to convince him that milk in his cup was a sufficient substitute.
I was a little concerned yesterday because Del ate at 3 (before we left from the hospital) and then not again until 9pm (and slept pretty much the whole time in between).
Then she slept until 11:30 and nursed constantly until 1:30am. At that point we were both frustrated (I think she wasn't feeling up to continuing to nurse lying down). So I got up with her for about ½ an hour. She didn't wake up again to eat until this morning aroun7am (with some encouragement). I'm a little nervous but trying to see this as a good thing- and remind myself that she's a big girl and has plenty of reserves.