Dear Child B

Dear Child B,
We've been together 7-weeks and it feels non-stop since then. You've grown so much in that short time, emotionally and I think physically too! You tend to be somewhat reserved in your verbal expression but quick to sneak in a hug whenever there is an opportunity. It's like all your time is spent seeking affection. An "I love you" will illicit a giggle and a grin as wide as anything. A hug will melt your body into bliss. A back rub will erase all of your worries. And even with all of this desire for affection, you're quick to let someone else take over and then sneak your way back in. I often find you in my lap without even remembering you finding a spot.

From the beginning you've called us mommy and daddy. I found this surprising until you called out to a woman at the playground: "Mommy!! What's that girl's name?". So I learned, males are "daddy" and females are "mommy" without any of the emotional or cultural attachment I feel when I hear or say those words.

 

It's been interesting to see how you create an environment where your needs can be met. Sometimes I'm confused by your behavior and can only speculate what drives you to collect all of your socks in a dress-up purse ... when we've been running out of socks for you and wondering where they were. Or you fight so hard for my attention and scream in frustration when someone else needs to finish their thought first ... but then let someone talk over you the next time.

You're soft spoken and gentle with your interactions. Your babies are always tucked under a blanket or buckled into the car, well taken care of. Sometimes it surprises me how mature your caring abilities are. And then I'm surprised at how immature some of your other abilities are. We're just meeting you where you are at - the 16 year old mother hen mixed with the 2 year old communicator, and the infant snuggler.

You're quickly learning how to use your words to meet your needs, negotiate toys and game choices with your siblings, and charm every grownup with your endearing smile ... although I think that smile has been your ticket for a long time now. You have bright blue-green eyes, teeny tiny adorable dimples, and this perfectly imperfect gap in your front teeth.

 

This is all so much harder than I anticipated and also so much better. We have more laundry and more laughter. We have more noise and more tickling. We have more car rides and more rich memories. We have the joy of sharing new experiences with you and reveling in the experiences you share with us. It's not all rainbows and fairies or thunderstorms and goblins.

When interacting with children I try to remember what kind of adults I want them to become - and treat them accordingly. This isn't about what job a child will have or pushing any kid into the grown-up world ... just a reminder that I want this child to mature into an independent, centered, and satisfied human being. To foster this, I work hard to treat each child with respect, offering opportunities to exert their independence when appropriate, offer many earth and others focused insights, and set every child up for frequent successes as well as putting supports in place for challenges. In the beginning I had a hard time imaging your future or how my interactions should evolve. I was working on learning the person you are now, as well as piecing together the parts that contributed to who you are, and melding that into a vision of who you may become as an adult. Just as you were working on catching up on skills missed in infancy to pre-school.

 

But now at 7 weeks, I'm seeing a person emerge who is gentle, fun-loving, independent, stubborn, caring, and more. It's been so fun getting to know you and it's even more fun thinking of future camping trips, family parties, holidays, birthdays, farm adventures, and more ... or less. We're just happy to be part of your life today.

On one particularly challenging day we were listening to Laurie Berkner in the car. A cd I've played 100's of times. (A fascinating side note: when every song ends there's a moment of panic from you and your brother that I've turned the music off.) When "Open Your Heart" came on, I heard it in a new light. You can do so many amazing things that some four year olds can - but most can't. You're a strong, resilient, amazing little girl ... but there are some things you still need from the grownups in your life.

I love you forever and ever no matter what,
Momma

Open Your Heart by The Laurie Berkner Band

I can use my voice to sing out a song
And use my muscles when I'm feeling strong
I can use my arms for hugging you tight
And use my pillow when I sleep at night

But some things I can't do
That's why I need you
To open your heart
My heart is waiting for you
Open your heart
My heart is waiting

I can use my head to say no or yes
I can use my mouth to take in a breath
I can turn a knob to open a door
And I can dance my way across the floor

But some things I can't do
That's why I need you
To open your heart
My heart is waiting for you
Open your heart
My heart is waiting

What's inside when I open my heart?
Turn the wheel, and what do I feel?
I feel love when I open my heart
Do you feel it too?

I can use a key to open a lock
I can listen when the two of us talk
I can taste my salty tears when I cry
Or use my body to jump up high

But some things I can't do
That's why I need you
To open your heart
My heart is waiting for you
Open your heart
My heart is waiting

Open your heart
Open your heart
Open your heart
My heart is waiting!

Dear Del 5 years old!!

Dear Del,
It's hard to believe that you're 5. For months we've been saying you're almost 5 ... so now that you are actually 5, it doesn't seem like a big deal ... and at the same time - it's HUGE. You're FIVE! That's super grown up! You're super excited about being 5. The only drawback you can see is that you know it means the end of preschool is near. You love preschool with a passion. Your friends are awesome but your teachers are even better, I think. When you overhear me talking about one of them by their first name you're quick to jump in with an emphatic "MISS". You honestly think that's part of their name. You'll say: "you know, miss....I can't remember the rest of her name. Do you?" There's more than one teacher so more than one grownup at school who has that memorable "miss" at the beginning. There are your regular classroom teachers but also the other classroom teachers, the gym teacher, and your swimming teachers. It's all so fun for a Miss Extrovert.

 

Your dress sense gets smiles everywhere we go. You're quite upset if someone says you're "cute" or "beautiful" or "pretty" ... the only appropriate adjective is "cool". "Cool" is the word of the day whether you're wearing a hat, stripes with plaids, tights, leggings, layered shirts that "match" because they both have butterflies on them, etc. Tights are a new discovery. You love them. But you're baffled by the requirement that a skirt or dress be worn over tights. You have a hard time seeing why tights aren't a pants replacement. And as always, you're very confident in your own convictions.

 

We talked about 4 being the year you started only using your words instead of screams .... you thought that was a good idea right before your 4th birthday and then decided that it might be more a "maybe" kind of situation. Now that we're heading into post-5-birthday, you're using your words more and more every day. There are set backs but there's also a light at the end of the tunnel - which means a lot less frustration for both of us.
Your reading and writing is amazing. Your passion for learning - on your own terms - is fascinating to watch. It's so fun to think about that vocal baby who did indeed become the vocal five year old. I'm so glad you are who you are. You're going places and will always be satisfied following your heart.

 

Love you forever and ever,
Momma

Regular Mom

 

Child B and Child C have a "visit" with their "regular mom" (to distinguish between her, another foster mom, and myself) every week for an hour. It's much anticipated and if it comes up in conversation too soon in the week we have many hard days leading up to the visit. B and C anticipate their visit and are excited to just drive by their "visit place". I'm not sure they really believe that their mom isn't there all.the.time. The difficulty in their anticipation is the let down every time they have to hear that their visit isn't RIGHT now. Their visit is late in the afternoon and even on the day of Child C took a quick bite of breakfast and then ran off to get dressed so he "wouldn't be late".

It's hard.
Really hard.
I'm so so so sad for them and I ache for their loss and hurt at the thought of their hurt as they anticipate seeing their mom and then the loss of separating again.

This week I saw their regular mom up close and personal for the first time.
It was a near out of body experience.
Just seeing all of the children throw themselves on her and call "mom! mom! mom!" with so much energy and life to share with her - all they've missed in the last week. They all had so much of their mom that they needed and she only has an hour she can give. How does she do it? Divide her time so everyone feels loved and respected as individuals and as a group of siblings - in just an hour per week!?!? The children want so much of her and yet only get so much.

And then her. She's full of returned affection but it feels restrained. She's on. Everyone is watching. She can't just grab her babies with abandon and cling to them like she'll never let go. She smiles so big her momma face splits in two, she kisses each on the cheek, her eyes frantically searching each face quickly, she's hugging them all up in a bunch, and then they are on their way through the door and into the elevator to go have their hour in a room where they will continue to be watched, judged, guided in parenting when deemed necessary.

And all too soon, I'm sure, the time is up. The children have behaved so well - they are better and better behaved every week since they've been with us. And then we get in the car and C is rip roaring screaming, B is finding every reason not to get buckled in, Noah is insisting he's HUNGRY and wants to leave NOW, and Del is full of words that she's been saving up while B and C were away - her newest favoritist playmates, friends, and siblings.

And we'll do it all again next week too.

A Farmer in the making

 

Whew!
Things are busy but we're settling into a new hectic normal.
I think we've caught up on planting.
I still haven't posted about the Fort Montgomery shoot on the photo blog.
Chicks are coming in a week - we need to sort out their brooder space.

It will all happen.
Just at a slower pace. And that's okay.
We've been noticing that spring is coming, slowly but surely. I see buds on some trees and all the pastures are snow free after today's warm weather. There's still plenty in the woods.

As everyone gels as a new kind of family, I've been keeping Child C close by. He's quick to temper and it can be intense. But he's learning and we're learning and it's getting better to read each other and avoid most outbursts. In the effort of keeping Child C close by, he's been in the barn with me doing chores often. He started out with intense interest and excitement about every aspect of farming. He moved hay bales, threw down bedding, filled water buckets, collected eggs, and avoided pigs after a firm and explicit warning from me. He has a good sense of self-preservation.
But the weather turned cooler soon after the children arrived in our home and I discovered he was more a fair weather farmer. After several mornings of lazy chores on my part, due to the fact that I had a three-year-old wrapped to my back and wanted to be DONE, Child C is back on his own two feet during chores and has focused his farming interest down to one aspect - egg collecting. He's excellent at this task - if not a little too enthusiastic. There has been more than one mild tantrum over a hen that he wanted MOVED so he could collect eggs NOW.

The Dead Chicken
I noticed a dead hen in the chicken barn yesterday.
Weird.
I assumed it was the lowest on the pecking order and had had one too many pecks from its peers (I now think there may be a weasel problem. grr.). The body was tucked in a corner and I didn't want to draw attention to it, not knowing how Child C would feel. Would death frighten him? Would he be confused? Sad? Scared? Or the dreaded: angry?!
I decided to leave it, hoping someone else would do afternoon chores - or if nothing else, I'd find an opportunity to sneak it out.
During afternoon chores, I was back out in the barn, with the memory of the dead chicken somewhere in the shadowy parts of my brain.
Child C's favorite place is the chicken barn - that's where the eggs are to be found!
He wasn't in there long before I heard: "Sarah! There's a dead chicken!!"
Oh yeah.
Oh no.
"What are you going to do with it?!?!" He asked.
Honesty is best, I feel, if possible, with kids.
"Probably throw it in the woods," I replied.
"NOOOOO!" he said.
Oh no.
Here comes a tantrum....
"I don't want you to throw the dead chicken in the woods!" he said emphatically and there were tears starting.
"I want to eat the chicken!"

Ah.
I think we're going to be okay with this farming thing.


The Electric Fence
Months ago we had a few families over to sled - it was very impromptu.
Before long the sled tracks were making it to the split rail fence - that also has an electric line or two attached.
Someone asked if the fence was off and after doing a quick mental map of where all the animals were and realized there was no need for the fence to be on.
So off it went.

Fast forward to a week or so ago and the four children that now live here were sledding and exploring and generally wandering around the front yard.
Child C made his way down to the bottom of the front yard and the split rail fence ... and moved the two electric lines apart and slipped through to the pasture.
Huh.
That's weird.
Then remembered not all kids know about electric fences.
He made his way across the pasture (just a small distance, really) towards the opposite fence - on the other side there is a ditch and then the road.
He won't go through, I thought.
He will see the electric fence and won't go through.
But I walked down the hill and slipped through the split rail fence and electric lines, just in case.
He grabbed the electric fence.
"Child C!" I called, "if you go through that fence, I'll know you're not safe outside and we'll have to go inside."
He gave me a big satisfied grin and turned back towards me.
Fast forward to yesterday.
We need the pigs to get OUT of their mucky area. They are belly to mud and we're nervous about relying on electric lines as we would usually because it may well still snow - feet of snow. Plus, the ground is frozen, making it difficult to put in stakes.
We were able to open up their current enclosure into the next spot that only requires a small area of electric fence.
So the fence is back on.
We realized we should warn Child B and Child C, as they'd shown us that they didn't know about the shock factor of electric fences.
I pointed out wires that had electric on them.
"Is this one?" Child B asked.
"Nope, just this one up here," I replied.
"What about this one?" Child C asked.
"Not that one, but this one" I said.
Each kid touched the "safe" fence after being told they wouldn't zap.
Walking back towards the house, I pointed out another line of electric.
"What about this one?" Child B asked.
"I don't think that one," I said. "You'll figure it out soon enough - just don't touch wires, and you won't get zapped."
"I'm going to touch it!" Child C announced.
"Okay, but it's going to zap you," I warned.
He gave me a mischievous and rebellious grin, with a slight question to his expression.
"You can," I said, "it's your body, I don't care. It's going to zap."
Defiantly he grabbed a tight fist to the fence line.
Looking shocked he quickly pulled his hand away and stared at his wrist.
"That HURT me!" he announced.
"You wanna do it again?" I asked.
A quick shake of his head with big eyes and we had figured out the fence meant business.
I gave a quick satisfied and perhaps unnecessary lecture about the fact that when we say "no", it's not for our fun -it's to keep them safe.


There's a lot of work to be done around building trust ... and every day that trust deepens. So thankful for the connection we're able to make with each other.

Did I say a respite?

We've had Child B and Child C for a week today. A few days ago, when bringing them for their visit, the placement coordinator met me at the car and asked if we could make this a placement instead of a respite.
Am I overwhelmed?
Absolutely.
Was I going to say "no".
Absolutely not!

These two may have attachment stuff going on so they have quickly bonded (superficially, anyway) and I was sad to think of them leaving at the end of the week - even with Child C's intensity. Child C has the same personality as Del in many ways - just not the support to work with that intensity. I find myself reminded of the early days of Del and Noah. At this point, Del and Noah can be parented from the next room, usually. But it wasn't always that way, for sure. And now I'm finding that once again, I rarely sit down. There's a ton of intense parenting required, cooking, cleaning, laundry ...

That night, after I'd said "yes" to this foster placement, I checked on all four kids before I went to bed. Child B often gets the back burner because her brother demands so much. I saw her asleep in her bed, surrounded by a collection of stuffed animals and dolls and was sad that I hadn't had more time with her today. Del is insisting on sleeping on this fold out bed on the floor instead of a bed. Looking at her, relaxed in sleep, I was sad that the stress of this was leading to a ton of negative behavior from her. I wish I'd had more time with her that day. I saw Noah, looking so grown up and so young in sleep. When was the last time I'd hung out with him? We've done no "schooling" and he's been on his own, more or less. Del and Child C had often chosen to keep Noah out of their play which was devastating to witness and negotiate throughout the day. And then Child C, often feeling such big feelings, and now completely relaxed. I wanted to protect him and ease his big hard feelings - or at least give him the tools to navigate.

I crawled into bed and suddenly felt like crying. Soon it was sobbing. I couldn't figure it out. I was finding this interesting because I cried for reasons I can't say, days after Noah and Del were born - was it not hormonal after all? As I was trying to process, I realized I missed Del and Noah and was struggling with what was best for them vs. what was best for everyone. Was I being selfish? Fostering/adopting is MY lifelong dream - but if it stresses Del out and lessens the time I have with Noah ... is that fair to put that on them? What about Ren Man? He's 100% supportive - but he's also overwhelmed, particularly socially.

And then I thought of how close Del and Child C are becoming and hearing them play ... I wouldn't want that to end.

In these moments I often compare this to feelings and the transition of birthing a baby. I'd still feel like I was missing any older children as my time was relegated to an infant's intense needs. There would be a transition period. That is what this is. There are "newborn babies" in this house who now need me fairly intensely ... and things will get easier as we figure out everyone's needs and quirks and how to meet those needs and quirks.

And then yesterday afternoon I drove Child B and Child C an hour away to pick up two other children who we've had for respite in the past and who will be staying with us for "two sleeps". And I thought I was overwhelmed before! I kept everyone outside as much as possible and then dinner (a madhouse of: "I tried this, I don't like it, can I have something else?!?" - waffles with whipped cream and raspberries - what's not to like!?), and then a hectic bedtime with pj-ing and teeth brushing for 6 (our bathroom is the largest we've ever had, I think ... but that's not saying much). There was one point when one of the girls for respite pushed Child C. It reminded me of when Noah ran across days-old Del and Ren Man and I reacted stronger than we expected. Mama Bear was hard to hold back when talking about the pushing incident between the girls. So I think I'm bonded to Child B, no problem :)

I'm nervous about this weekend but I'm hoping that the coordination of 6 kids will make us really appreciate the ease of 4 kids in comparison. This has also been fun to see Child C and Child B really take ownership of this family and home. While the two kids doing respite have been here several times and know the ropes well, Child B and Child C don't know that. They were enthusiastic about showing the other two around and seeing them act kindly and welcoming.

I think I hear kids awake ... and the day begins!


ps we're taking pictures, but they can't be shared, obviously.

Such a spontaneous kind of day!

This morning I met with an aquaintance-quickly-becoming-friend, Laura. She is the editor of Adirondack Weddings, a local magazine. That's what initially connected us - turns out, she's really cool too. She mentioned that she couldn't hang out long because she was going to do an e-shoot for a friend at a fort. Laura has done shoots in the past that look like such awesome opportunities - and shooting at a fort?!? How cool is that? She wanted a card to pass on to the couple who were only recently engaged (as in two weeks ago?) and are planning a wedding for October. I said I'd be happy to come do the e-shoot if that was helpful. I think that surprised Laura - in a good way. She called her people to double check, I called Ren Man to double check and ask him to bring my gear into Plattsburgh ... and then pick up our daughter at preschool.
All our ducks were lined up in a row and we met at the fort.

 

The fort was magical. So incredible. And such a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The groom has always wanted to see the fort and so it was fun to get pictures but also to explore the fort. Awe-inspiring.
The couple was also incredible and I'm really excited about possibly shooting their wedding in the fall.

 

While hanging out with this very cool couple and feeling overwhelmed by the beauty and image possibilities, Ren Man called the cell phone. Reception is spotty there, at best. I couldn't hear him. I explained that I couldn't hear him and I'd call back later. I was really surprised he'd call. He feels very very strongly about work being work. He wouldn't just call to chat - or see when I was coming home - or anything like that.

The phone kept ringing, but I silenced it, not wanting to interrupt the flow with the couple and knowing I couldn't really hear him.
I finally answered.
DSS needs respite for two kids for a week.
They needed me to confirm.
Yes, yes!

Then I realized that Ren Man has signed up for extra days at work next week.

....

That's okay.
Yes, yes.

Then I realized that at the end of next week we are doing a respite for two other children.
Six kids for two days.

....

That's okay.
Yes, yes.

So I'm thinking everything else will be put on the back burner while intensely parenting ... starting today.

Whew.
It's been adrenaline rush after adrenaline rush around here!

money, money, money, always funny ...

Ren Man got a part-time-two-day-a-week-job-that-he-loves in Saranac Lake. He's been there for about a month.
We always scoffed at people who had off-farm jobs as a starting point before they could rely on their farm income full time.
We thought we'd saved enough.
We thought we could work harder.
We thought our products would be more sought after.
We thought we'd be living in Vermont with a farm that had most of the needed infrastructure in place.

Instead we find ourselves holding our breaths when the credit card bills come in (one personal, one for each business).
And every month we miraculously feel like we made it through by the skin of our teeth.
This is particularly unnerving for us because we've always always paid everything with credit cards out of convenience (carrying minimal cash, not using our debit cards) to have one bill to pay off at the end of the month.
We never carry credit card debt from one month to the next.
Never.
If we don't have it, we don't spend it.
Except that at a minimum we have a $900 feed bill once a month.
Thankfully, there are very few expenses otherwise.
But each month the bills get paid and we breath a little easier until the next bill is due.

So Ren Man found a job to help with the "negative cash flow" - he calls it.
Is that selling out?
He's now gone 11+ hours twice a week and many weeks he's picked up an extra day.
And it's nice to get a regular paycheck.
But, as we feared, it means other things (farming/family/photography related) don't always happen as timely as they would.

Our small project right now is a steady flow of seed planting. We're about a week behind, but that's okay - last year we were about a month (or two) behind.

Our big project (as always) is the creamery. Ren Man is regularly making delicious un-saleable cheese (because we're not licensed and inspected).
In order to be licensed and inspected we need to build a creamery.
We have the plans.
We're trying to find a contractor - everyone has their favorite to recommend - but we're not getting called back.
And then we need to find funding - I'm hoping to do some crowd sourcing and assuming we'll need to go through an ag lender.
Or do you get the loan first?
I'm hoping the contractor can provide and itemized list so we can say to people: "We need $X for the foundation. Anyone want to help with the foundation? Or if you'd prefer, the electric system is going to be $Z. We're laying the foundation on such-and-such date and we need X number of bodies to help - are you in for a little "barn raising"? The electric will be ready to go in on THIS date - anyone up for the job?" ... that sort of thing.

It feels like such a big overwhelming thing - organizing building a structure that you're whole financial future rests on. All advice welcome!

In the meantime I'm enjoying the days when Ren Man is gone and unreachable. The farm (not to mention everything else) is in my hands. I also really enjoy the days when Ren Man is at the farm - even if he is elbow deep in cheese making.

Hibernation

I've definitely been hibernating!
But it's getting warmer.
Spring is coming. Or as the kids would say: spring is here - and we STILL have snow!!
Piglets are almost 8 weeks old.
One set of lambs have been born.

Today is Del's birthday and she loved hearing her birth story on the way to preschool. When Noah stopped the story to ask a question, Del was quick to suggest I keep relaying the story. They both liked hearing about their role in the story.

It's so crazy that she's five today. FIVE. I feel like she's been here WAY longer than that :) I also think that's the expiration date on birthing more babies. It's all complicated, our feelings on the number of children to birth, but this feels like a milestone to say: "okay, we're done".
Hmmm .... that whole thing probably requires it's own blog entry.

Del was excited to bring brownie cupcakes with fancy blue frosting for a snack at preschool. Her teacher's were thrilled the cupcakes were gluten free, as they both are too.
After school we're going to meet up with my parents, brother, and Ren Man for some yummy lunch at a restaurant Del requested. Her initial request was Chinese buffet - which thrills Ren Man, and makes me gag at the thought. So the change in venue was welcome.

I think it's appropriate to re-visit the "monthly" letters as annual birthday letters ... so that's to come. I just checked and there were 100 monthly letters written. That's a nice lovely number, I think.
In the meantime, Noah and I are chilling at the library - excited to see Del at the end of her school day around noon!

funny: A reason to distrust peanut butter

 

We have a lot more snow than in the picture above.
A lot.
And Eden (above) LOVES snow.
She rolls in it, gallops through it, relishes everything about snow - including gulping down mouthfuls regularly.

She started wiping at her ear a lot and wining when she did that. She also started shaking her head frantically.
I took a peak.
Bright red and painful looking under those floppy ears.

An exciting trip to the vet (with all three dogs, because why go with one when all three need to go) and a shocking vet bill later (3 big dogs are pricey when you let them loose at the vet with your credit card) and it was confirmed.

Ear infection for poor Eden. There was talk of yeast growing in her ear - likely from snow that melted after entering her ear after her enthusiastic romps through the snow.

Likely something we'll deal with for her whole life.

I've just started getting into kefir ... apparently it helps with yeast? I'm thinking about putting some right in her ear ... thoughts?

But I didn't have the courage to ask the vet about kefir and he sent us home with drops and an antibiotic.

Here's where the funny starts:
We wrap the antibiotic in peanut butter and let her lick it off the spoon.
What a life.
This is doggy bliss.
She gets to play in the snow (for 6mos a year, no less, given our location) AND spoonfuls (don't tell her, but it's like 1/32 of a spoonful) of peanut butter.
Lucky dog.

Ren Man and I had a farmer's market day (once a month in the winter) and Eden needs her antibiotic every 8hrs. We gave my mom the instructions and with Del's promise to help, everyone knew Eden would get her medicine.

So my mom decided to split the pill and mix it with the peanut butter. She thought that would be yummier and make it easier.

Eden enthusiastically licked her peanut butter and then hit a medicine spot and paused.
Yuck!
With encouragement, she reluctantly finished her peanut butter.

Here's where the funny part REALLY starts:
That night I brought her a spoon of peanut butter with her medicine tucked inside.
She eyed it skeptically.
She was definitely uncertain about the benefits of peanut butter compared to the risk of that yuck taste.
She tentatively licked.
And licked again.
And soon the whole spoon was licked clean.

Del tells me daddy has started hiding the medicine in cheese instead.

A year ago ...

 

A year ago I was a lot more stressed but was looking at the light at the end of the tunnel.
March 8, 2012 was the day we closed on this farm.
It was a big busy day of moving and then Josh went back to the place we were living to take care of farm chores there while I stayed here with the kids to start the big wallpaper removal and painting jobs.
The kids slept on the floor of one bedroom in sleeping bags, and I slept on a different bedroom floor in a sleeping bag.
The house was big and cold and empty, save our sleeping bags and overnight bags ..... and the entryway that was packed with all of our belongings - waiting for rooms to be painted before the belongings were put in their place.
My parents stayed in a hotel room so they could get to work more easily while I stripped their room of wallpaper (with lots of their help and Josh's mom's help) and then painted it Benjamin Moore's Iced Mauve.

In the last year we bought two cows, watched one of those cows birth TWINS, survived a winter farming in the adirondacks, felt completely supported by our new community, connected with an awesome homeschooling group, went camping for the first time with kids, hung Christmas lights, hosted an awesome summer solstice party, have the beginnings of awesome photography enthusiasm, started fostering, participated in organized sports .... you get the idea! What a full full year. And ... did I mention I'm not as stressed as I was a year ago.

It was hard to give up our "plan" of moving to VT and raising our family there. The whole year in Vermont was so painful and hard .... but it had to be ... or we wouldn't have adjusted our plan to include this move and this farm and this community. We're so so so thrilled to be here.