Dear Rye :: 18mos

Dear Rye,
Hi! You're closer to two years old than one! We're having so much fun watching you grow and learn. You love your siblings, you love your grandparents, and you love your parents. You are happy to hug and kiss and snuggle in to someone's shoulder. And any family member will do ... usually. It warms my heart to see you bury your head in Del's neck, or reach for Noah to be lifted up, or hide behind dad's leg.
It's amazing to see your relationships develop with various people in our family and wider community. I'm so grateful that you have life-long friends in your siblings who are quick to comfort, protect, and play with you.

Every night you do a little baby knock (it's getting louder) on Nina and Poobah's door. No matter how late, how sleep, or how asleep even, Nina and Poobah are ... they open the door and you get right up on their bed. You insist on having "your" pillow under your head. I don't know the details, because I'm not there. But at some point, you decide to leave ... or Poobah decides it's time for you to leave, and Poobah finds me to pass you to me. Depending how late in the evening it is, this might be a process that gets repeated several times.
When Nina and Poobah are not home, you will still insist on knocking - wildly confused why this part of the night-time routine is not following it's normal time frame. During these times, Orey, or small dog, will often join you expectantly at the door - hoping it will be opened.

Everybody said you would never be shy. We opened our farm store/cafe/coffee shop/bakery when you were 3 mos old and you've been a permanent fixture from the beginning. Your charm effects all who come. Grouchy old ladies wave enthusiastically at you - hoping for a return wave, gruff men will split their faces in two to give you the biggest smile, and too-cool-for-school teens will try to woo you with games of peek-a-boo. Recently you've figured out the routine. You come running when you see a customer arrive. You insist on being lifted onto the stool. You look intently at the customer and swivel the ipad that we use as our sales system to the customer. You reach for their card. You put it in the chip reader, with a little guidance. You wait patiently while the machine flashes lights. You swivel the ipad for the customer to sign. Your remove the card. You hand the card back to the customer. You wave goodbye.
If the customer doesn't leave in a reasonably short time frame (it's a community gathering spot that lends itself to conversation that isn't always wrapped up by the end of desired purchases), you reach patiently for their card again.
It takes several goodbye waves for many customers. They love seeing you wave in response to their wave.
One time, as a customer was leaving they said "thank you" - so you signed "thank you" and they waved bye and then held their hand for a high-five. You waved, tried to high-five, and sign "thank you" again. It was all the hand tricks you have, and you were all confused about what order to do it all.

All that work can be tiring. And what we've learned is that - despite your vast experience with a variety of people - you still find times when you'd prefer to be snuggling into a familiar shoulder rather than greeting a stranger.

Your day begins when I'm outside doing chores. Because we have you on the same sleep routine as us - you stay up late. But you're a baby - so you still need about 12 hours of sleep a night. That means, conveniently, you tend to sleep in.
On days the store is open (more than 50% of the week), you wake when I'm outside doing chores. Del and Noah trade off days that they are responsible for going to you when you call out. Soon after, I'm back inside and I change out of barn clothes and you change out of pjs. We then head down to the store for the day. We head back to the farm sometime after 2pm - where you take a nap in the car and I do afternoon farm chores. The day ends with a few more hours at the store and then a late (for babies) bedtime.
And you totally roll with it.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were so much fun with you this year. You were into walking around Grammy and Grampy's and greeting all the people while chowing down on turkey and squash. You had a lot of fun hanging out with the older cousins - even if you are much younger.
At Christmas - you quickly figured out the present-unwrapping situation and you were enthusiastic about applying your unwrapping skill to every present. When a few presents were put under the tree before Christmas, Nina and Del noticed tiny tears in the corners. So we put the presents away until Christmas morning.
You were so into it and went from person to person, attempting to open their present too. We found that the apple sauce pouches from your stocking were distracting enough to keep you from helping those who weren't excited about your assistance.

You imitate everyone and learn so quickly, as one year olds tend to do. You love doing whatever your siblings are doing. Recently, that means wanting to be outside sledding. They are great at including you, for the most part. I'm amazed at how happy you are to stay outside for longer than I would think.
You've recently started saying words as well as signing them. Last time I counted you had 30+ signs. Verbal words come slower. I was so excited to hear you talk. When we prompt you - "can you say ...?" - you use this funny high pitched voice. You can say Mama, Dada, Da (Del), Baba (Noah), Nah-na (Nina), and Poob (Poobah), Boo (boots), Bar (bark) ... and all sorts of animal sounds. But when you're sad, you use your regular voice and just keep saying "mamamamamamama". This is super heart breaking.
You still are nursing like a newborn, but often a hug will do if you need comforting.

We're so glad you're part of our family. We're having so much fun making memories with you!
Love always,
Mama

Dear Rye :: 12mos + 13mos

Dear Rye,
I can't believe we're already a day away from 13months! We tend to be a busy family with lots of things going on - which we love - not the "busy" part necessarily, but all the things we're doing are so rewarding and we don't want to give any of it up. And summer time just means more busy! So let's talk about 12 and 13 months together.

Your birthday seemed unbelievable - but also not. You've been around forever, it feels, and I can't imagine life without you! It's hard to believe that we were birthing a year ago - and you were a tiny-curled-up-dark-headed-blue-eyed baby. So much has happened in the last year! But all those feelings were a good reminder that birthdays aren't really about the person who was birthed but the person who birthed - especially that first birthday.

You are more and more toddler and less and less baby. You like to pull things off shelves, stack and restock objects (sockets, for example), hold a pencil/pen/crayon and insist on paper to draw on, climb on anything and everything - stairs, the rocking horse, the dog ...
You crawl everywhere. Sometimes your arm doesn't hold your weight like you expect, and you topple. You've discovered that you can stand up by yourself. You do this regularly. In the middle of a room. Then smile proudly and start laughing. Until you carefully squat back down ... and then do it again. You've taken a few steps - something you're clearly proud of. People keep saying "any day now!" but I really assume it will be a few more months until you're walking. Del and Noah were both 15months and your trajectory seems similar.

The closer you get to walking, the more you want to b held. You are not as content to sit on the floor and play. I think there's a connection. Like this emerging independence given by soon-to-come-walking means you want reassurance that I'm still here. I sit you in front of me on the floor to feed you, and you insist on turning your back to me, and resting your little bum in my lap. You want to be carried more. And if you are on the floor, you'd prefer to be walking hand in hand with me. There's lots of practice needed for walking.
Not stair climbing apparently - because before we even knew it was happening, you have become very adept at stair climbing. And if you get to a spot where you feel stuck and uncertain, you don't hesitate to call out for someone to come find you and help.

Noah and Del are your best entertainers. You are quick to laugh when they make a funny face and you've just recently started laughing when they giggle about something. You love when they walk with you or spin you in the air. You will reach for them when you're sad and your parents aren't around. You love to give kisses and will randomly making kissing sounds - asking for a kiss. This is not something Del and Noah are interested in participating in and they are committed to teaching you that kissing is gross. So I get all the kisses I can now - before their influence about this issue becomes a bigger impact on your preferences.

You're affectionate in general and like to hug and occasionally say "awww" while patting someone's back. When you hear the word "gentle", you rub your face gently. If someone gives you something soft - a stuffed animal, a blanket, a pillow - you lay your cheek down and squeeze it close, giving it a hug. If I'm not where you want me, you'll pull and tug with all your might to get me in a different position. You rub my belly or arm randomly. You're just snuggly and like touch. It makes me so happy to see you reach for Del or Noah or Daddy.

If you are done eating or don't like a certain food, you'll spit it out and very purposefully throw it on the floor. You will fill your mouth too full of water - insisting you want more - then let it all dribble out.

In the last few months, you've had your first camping trip (yay! Sand! Water! Fire!!), done a road trip to Boston (with a few museums thrown in for fun, a turned-off-hot-tub dip, and exploring a thoroughly not-kid-proof house), and a bonfire at home. I'm always surprised at how engaged you are these days. You laugh when things are unexpected - like feeling grass underneath your bare legs, someone playing peek-a-boo, or a smiley baby in the mirror. You had so much fun splashing in the hot tub and exploring the museums. The tops of your feet are dirty, your hair is crusty because you like to put food in it, and you're just starting to show your 6th tooth! This fun baby-toddler phase!

Keep being you. It's so fun!
Love you baby,
Mama

Everybody says it - because it's true!

"That first year goes by so fast."

We've had such a crammed packed year with lots of changes - I can't believe it's only been a year since Rye was born.
I also can't believe she's grown and changed so much in a year.
But I'm also still trying to figure out how the first baby I birthed is now a 10 year old, the same size as me ....
Life goes by fast after you have kids!

Dear Rye :: 11mos

Dear Rye,
When people asked, I told them you were 10 months old. Then days before you turned 11 months I realized I'd missed the part where I normally say "x-and-a-half-months". You were days days! from 11months! Dad is quick to point out that 11 months means that next month will be 12 months! Eek! How has 11 months sped by so fast.
I'll tell you. We've done a whole bunch of stuff! And you've definitely been a huge part and made it all more exciting and fun.

You are now a total pro at moving around. You can crawl. You can pull yourself up. You can slowly lower yourself from a standing to a sitting position. You can roll.
It's a whole new world out there - ready for you to pull apart explore. We shake our head at your antics and are surprised at what you find to get into investigate. You are very interested in plugs - whether a cord is inserted to them or not. You love opening the woodstove grate and cabinets and drawers ... and pulling out the contents. Boxes are also fun to empty. As are bookshelves. And laundry baskets. You've even recently made it up a stair or two.

You tagged along with Nina and I on a garage-sale-ing adventure one Saturday and happily smiled and waved to everyone who passed by. You seemed quite stunned that the wave and smile wasn't reciprocated by everyone. It was a crowded day and people didn't always see you. It was as if they weren't all there to see you. I know this is surprising because at the store - you are the highlight. You smile and wave, or shyly tuck your face into my neck ... before smiling big ... for anyone who comes in the door. When customers get their meals, you will often crawl right over to their table, waiting patiently - because surely they are going to share their meal with you! It's so fun to watch other people find you as charming as we do. Occasionally, if you're not in our arms, you will take a dislike to someone - usually someone with a beard - and burst out crying, terrified. This is a new phenomenon. Usually a quick snuggle and you are on your way again.

Nina got a new dog this month and you are loving him. Fortunately, he is tolerant. He avoids you, or patiently waits while someone rushes over to rescue him - on the few occasions where you've been too enthusiastic in your attentions. He also comes at a convenient time as you are eating more and more solids ... which means more and more messes under your seat at the table. The dog never complains about having clean up duty.

We went to visit friends on the other side of the Adirondacks this month. You are okay in the car if we start early enough ... but in general, the later in the day, the less tolerant of life you are - but that's all relative, because you're still relatively chill. So the last third of the trip can be long, when you really need to fall asleep. But then you are all smiles when we arrive and it's fun to realize the huge developmental changes that have happened since a previous visit (in this case, about three months). You are way more interested in the other kids now ... and are interested in tasting chalk, crayons, grass, paper, video-game-controllers ... It's always exciting.
You do better in the car if Noah and/or Del are there to be a friendly face. But you spent most of that trip, taking whatever Noah offered and immediately throwing it on the far side of your seat - out of Noah's reach. Only to fuss again and Noah hand you another random item that has found itself in our vehicle.

It's fun to see how quickly you catch on. You clearly understand words like "up" and "bite" and your name and "c'mere" and "dog/cat". You're waving and clapping, and playing peek-a-boo. You might be signing some things but it isn't too obvious yet (did she just sign "milk" or was that random??). You copy what other people are doing - drinking from a cup, whacking a block on a table, waving. You crack up laughing when someone does something you didn't expect. And your giggle is irresistible.

I can't believe how big you're getting and how quickly you're maturing - but I'm also loving every second of it! You're such a cool baby.
Thank you for being you.
Love you always,
Mama

Dear Rye :: 10 mos

Dear Rye,
You're crawling! Not fast or very coordinated - but you can move your body. The thing is, you usually are happy to just sit tight and not move. I see babies your age fighting diaper changes because they just want to m-o-v-e!! Not you. I can leave you on your back and go and get wipes from a different room ... when I come back, you're where I left you. Maybe not super happy that I left you - but definitely still in the same place you were when I left the room.

The noises you are making are more varied and more conversation-like, often insistent. You laugh a lot and you find the unexpected particularly hilarious. You also giggle for tickles.

Not only are you crawling - but you also gained three teeth this month ... pretty much simultaneously. And you were relatively chill about the whole thing.

Along with the crawling has come social anxiety. It could be worse, I suppose. You're still mostly smiley with strangers but will snuggle into my neck when they talk to you and are much less enthusiastic about reaching for anyone who reaches for you. And interestingly, people who made you nervous before - you're getting better with them - I think because now they are the familiar faces. When you crawl away from me and someone talks to you, you sit back on your bum and burst into tears.
With crawling has also come a lot more falling and you are so sad whenever you fall - backwards, forwards, sideways - it happens all over the place!

You've recently started this sad-crying face that isn't actually crying ... and it reminds me so much of Noah. I think because we have video of him doing the same face. What adds to the similarities, I think, is that while your hair isn't as thick as his - it's starting to be long enough to go in your eyes - just like him at this age.

You're eating solids like crazy. Good thing Dad is around, because my go-to is to nurse you. Sometimes, when you're fussy, he'll ask: "when did she eat last?" and I'll realize I didn't think to feed you solids all day! You're growing like crazy and apparently more-than-mommy-milk is part of your growing plan.

The bigger you grow, the stronger. Your scratches, grabs, and pinches are getting ouchier and we're working on gentle hands. Your sweet soft hands are so loving when they are gentle. Sometimes the loving is too hard. But it also means so very passionate hugs and kisses.

I recently was going through pictures and found one of Dad sleeping on June 15th ... nothing June 16th .... and then you, you, you! I can't believe how tiny you were, how dark that full head of hair was, how much Noah and Del have also grown and changed in the last 10months. I'm so glad you're part of our family. It's so fun getting to know you more and more and knowing you're part of us.

For your 9month checkup, you'd jumped percentiles again - something like 7th for weight and 50something for height. I think you're going to more than triple your birth weight. We look at your rolly thighs and wonder that you're only in the 7th%ile.

We love you forever,
Momma

The Worried Mom

In many ways, I'm so easy going with this new baby. I've got experience on my side. I know that babies are generally happy, healthy, and meet their milestones even with less than ideal conditions (see fostering).
On the other hand, I have experience. I've witnessed wonderful families face challenges of ill babies (or worse!) and babies that don't meet milestones. Rye feels like such an incredible surprise, so I think I'm holding my breath - half expecting a challenge - while knowing it's silly to worry and arguably a BAD thing - I should just enjoy this time!
So while looking up "baby not making eye contact" I hear cooing and glance down at my bright eyed infant, looking directly at me, and grinning big.
Stop worrying.

PS The outside of average is 3mos - not the time to worry yet.