Grrr

Kate told me that she had seen a thread saying that Babies R Us is taking back BPA bottles and exchanging them for BPA free bottles- you just have to pay the difference (BPA free bottles are more expensive). So I called my local BRU and yep- they are participating.
But then this is what happened
When I arrived I was pleased to hear from the guest services employee that the exchange was bottle for bottle- I didn't have to make up the price difference.
When I returned to the Guest Services desk the employee counted out my bottles and took my license. She rang up the bottles and told me it would be $26 for the BPA-free bottles. I was shocked and confused. I explained that I thought it was an exchange program and that I wasn't interested in purchasing bottles from Babies R Us. She said they were taking bottles back as a service but as the bottles had not been recalled I would still have to pay for my BPA-free bottles. This didn't make any sense. Why would I bring my bottles back when I could just throw away my old bottles and come in and buy BPA-free bottles.

I sent BRU a complaint basically saying- what the heck?!!? I'm just supposed to give you my bottles?
As a side note: dd won't take a bottle (not that we've tried too hard) and I'm okay with that. So the bottles themselves are really inconsequential.

tired

This is were I found Ark Boy at 2pm this afternoon. He didn't fall asleep until midnight last night after only napping for about 40 minutes yesterday. Then Farm Girl woke up and as she was finishing he was awake again and came into our bed. A few minutes later- around 1am I heard Ren Man open the gate- he was home from work. I brought Ark Boy to his bed and went downstairs to actually be able to TALK to my husband instead of just see him in passing. We went to bed around 2:30am. Then Farm Girl needed milk....
I think I'll go lie down too while the two of them are sleeping despite the long list of things I want/need to do.

And this is him from Friday when he crashed at 4pm after his friend Emmie was over to play.

Dear Farm Girl 3 mos

Dear Missy Moo Hoo,
You've reached 3 mos! I hope you're as relieved as I am- the "fourth trimester" has been successfully completed and we survived!:) It's been hard sometimes trying to decipher what you want as you cry at me. Often no one could console you except for me and even then it was hit or miss.
You are so chatty these days and you even do a belly laugh for your brother. It is too cute. And when he realizes that you are the reason for the laughter he hams it up even more. Every time we go to get the camcorder though you get fascinated by the lens and stop laughing and smiling.
You rock at this ec thing but your mommy has to get on board more. Usually we have a catch or two in the morning and then you wear a diaper the rest of the day.
You cry a lot more than your brother did. I think in part it's because that's just you and in part I can't respond as quickly as I could to him. I'm sorry that so young you're having to learn to share.
I realized last night that we have only given you one bath in the baby bath- the rest have been in the shower with one of us. Well it's tricky to keep a hold of a slippery baby and wash all the baby bits. I've noticed that your neck and hands and underarms and feet are all getting stinky so I think we'll have to pull out the baby bath.
I love being a mom to a girl and am so thrilled that I'll be able to participate in your growing up in such an immediate way.
Well- you're crying on your brother's bed- must respond!:)
I love you girlie,
Mommy

5:40am

"help, mommy! Fix it!"
Hear Ren Man closing gate as he leaves for work
Assume it's close to 7- when Ark Boy usually wakes up
Try to move quickly from the bed hoping Ark Boy's demands don't wake Farm Girl
Glance at alarm clock
5:40am
You're kidding
Pull Ark Boy out of bedroom to help him button up his shirt
Yep, he slept in the button down shirt that he wore yesterday because he didn't want to take it off last night
Assuming he would wake in the night I unbuttoned most of the buttons intending to remove it sometime in the night
But he had slept all night
well
until 5:40am
When he insisted on getting in the "big bed"
Farm Girl woke
Nursed her with Ark Boy yelling for me to turn towards him to spoon
Ark Boy starts crying
Farm Girl crying
Not even 6am and both kids are crying at once- very familiar with this scenario- just not happy it's started so early
Ark Boy insisted he was hungry
Leave Farm Girl to go get breakfast
Ark Boy doesn't want breakfast
He wants lunch
Offer him everything in the fridge
Nothing is appealing apparently
except
cheese
he's on a cheese kick
quickly cut 3 pieces of cheese
Hear Farm Girl getting more upset
put cheese on small plate from last night
move to stairs
Ark Boy starts crying
insists mommy stays down stairs
attempt to patiently explain that Farm Girl needs mommy
Ark Boy wants to come upstairs
Repeat process of Farm Girl almost falling asleep and then being woken by Ark Boy's talking
Finally Farm Girl falls asleep
Don't expect her to stay asleep
Bring Ark Boy for cheese and blueberries downstairs
Turn on Signing Time hoping he'll notice and not come back upstairs
Check on Farm Girl
Still sleeping
phew
she needs her sleep!
Turn on computer
put in contacts
start to feel more human
decide to sneak in shower before Farm Girl wakes up and maybe Ark Boy will remain on the couch
feel guilty for wishing couch potato-dom on Ark Boy
Check email
check on Farm Girl
See that she's stirring
oh no
Ark Boy starts calling for mommy
Go ask if he wants to shower in hopes that he'll be quiet and not speed up Farm Girls awakening
he doesn't want to shower
change his diaper
he wants to shower
take diaper off
Put Ark Boy in shower
Check on Farm Girl
Awake
not fussing
debate putting in bouncy seat but reason she'll be equally content- or not- either way
leave in bed
take quick shower
Hear Farm Girl
Turn off shower
Leave Ark Boy to play with bath toys
Try to get dressed
have nothing to wear!
clothes are overflowing from every crevice but have nothing to wear?!?!
hate this feeling
jeans and tshirt
Try to nurse Farm Girl
Dress Farm Girl
Diaper resistant Ark Boy
Ark Boy wants hugs
Farm Girl NEEDS hugs
distract Ark Boy with "lunch"
Wants more cheese
and more
and more
cheese all gone
blow bubbles for cranky Ark Boy
Farm Girl gets fussy around 9am
try to get her to sleep
Ark Boy wants mommy
Farm Girl NEEDS mommy
This isn't working
keep trying to put Farm Girl in swing and hold pacifier in mouth
Feel stupid for not holding her and for trying to pacify her with... what are pacifiers made out of? silicone?
Ark Boy runs to kitchen to talk loud
Farm Girl seems pacified
sneak to living room to play ball with Ark Boy
Hear Farm Girl get more upset
Try to explain to Ark Boy that he has to stay downstairs
doesn't work
Put on "Ark Boy TV" (homevideo) in hopes it will distract him from coming upstairs
Sneak upstairs with Farm Girl and nurse her in bed
Hear Ark Boy looking for me
Don't respond
Farm Girl needs her sleep
In no time she's asleep
Quietly go back down stairs
It's 10am
Ark Boy is pleasantly surprised to see me
Asks to sit on lap while watching "Ark Boy TV"
Feeling resentful but know that he's just needing more mommy because of recent stressors
Try to ignore resentment
Ask if Ark Boy wants to cuddle with mommy in Ark Boy's bed hoping he doesn't suggest cuddling happen in "Big Bed"
He says no
5mins later ask super cuddly Ark Boy same question
He enthusiastically agrees
Sneak back out of his room at 10:25

Zoo

We decided to get a zoo membership.
We've had the membership for a month and have yet to go.
Finally Saturday I went with the kids and my mom.
Ark Boy hasn't gone since last fall.
It was so fun to see the view through the lens of a two year old.
The geese were a big hit.
Who goes to the zoo to see geese?!?!
Ark Boy was very excited about the "mommy daddy goose".
He saw two geese in the water a couple weeks before we moved at a nearby park.
For weeks he would say: "Goose.... water... swimming"
When we went back to that park about a week ago he searched and searched for geese but to no avail.
Finally in desperation I told him the geese had moved to a "new house" (as we had recently done).
Well! We found their new house! It's at the zoo!

Ark Boy wasn't overly excited about this creature when he saw it at the zoo but I had to include a picture.
He keeps calling it an "Emmie-you"
Emmie is his closest and oldest (as in known the longest) friend that Ark Boy has.















When we first brought Ark Boy into the building where the elephants were he couldn't get out of the building quick enough. I think it frightened him to see this huge animal in the building.
For the rest of the day, however, he kept asking to see the elephant (and signing emphatically for good measure). So before we left we went to the elephant building one more time.
When we arrived there were no elephants. The wait was good though.
Ark Boy was super comfortable with his surroundings by the time the elephants came in and he was so thrilled to see them it was really hard convincing him to move on.





So fun day had by all. We're going to go again this week and take more pictures because 20 or so is not enough for Ark Boy when he's watching "his" computer slide show. I'll try to get pics of Farm Girl being worn too.

The price of being *just* a mom part I

When I decided to stay home to raise our baby after Ark Boy was born we had to make some hard decisions.
We did what I had said we would NEVER do.
We went on WIC.
We signed up for state medical insurance.
There have been annoyances with WIC but that's for another post.
Today we had to go to the Department of Human Services (DHS) about our medical coverage.
After trying to contact my "medical worker" since Farm Girl's birth over two months ago I finally caught her at her cubicle.
I know she works in a cubicle because Before Children (BC) I worked for an organization that worked with DHS.
I'm no DHS novice.
Anyway.
We received a letter (among several) that said I had to make an appt to sign a "Mach 5" (??!?!). One of the other letters said that Farm Girl had been added to my medical but just because the letter said that didn't mean it was true and I should call and confirm that everything was okay with my worker.
When I finally reached my medical worker I explained about the letter saying I had to call to confirm everything was okay with Farm Girl being on the account. She said she never sent that letter in a tone that showed that I was clearly ignorant.
About the letter that asked me to make an appt. she said:
"Oh no, you don't make an appt. You just come in and ask to talk to the covering worker and sign the "Mach 5".
ooohhh kaaay.
She did suggest we go in as soon as it opens so we don't have to wait as long.
It opens at 8:30am.
We got there at 8:20am.
There was a line.
A line I didn't want to stand in.
Maybe there's a little bit of pride left in me but mostly I couldn't tell where the end of the line was or even if it was a line.
We had to wait for 20mins or so to be called in.
Right before we were called Farm Girl had an explosive-up-her-back poop.
So I carried naked, poopy baby back to this person's office.
it was an office.
Not a cubicle.
Maybe things have changed in two years...
I explained that I needed to fill sign the "Mach 5".
This is the information they wanted:
my name, birthday
kids names and birthdays
my signature
ALL INFORMATION THEY ALREADY HAD!!!
I also brought the letter that had asked me to call and confirm that they had all the info they needed about Farm Girl. I made sure to highlight that portion so it would be very clear. I left that for her. Hope she gets it.

Because we got there early I was able to see employees coming to work and being greeted by their colleagues. It reminded me of when I was working in a similar atmosphere and kindof got sad that I wasn't working.
Especially when the alternative involves these awful experiences at DHS and the like.
Then I remembered that I/we think it's important that WE raise our children- not a daycare provider. It's also very important that I nurse and I know it would be very challenging if I work.
So why am I getting the dirty looks?
Because I chose to stay home with my children?
And why does it need to be a choice
Either go to work and leave your children for an unbearable number of hours a day
OR
Stay home with your children and feel like you aren't doing enough
Crazy!
Why can't we do both?
Why can't work and have my children with me?
Wouldn't this be healthier? For everyone?
But I can't figure out how to make that work in our culutre
and right now it's more important to us that the kids are home with us than that I work.
And the stinky thing about all of this is that the ONLY reason we have to have anything to do with DHS is because we can't afford health insurance independently.

Del's Birth Story

Here are some quick stats first:
name: Del (Madeleine) Sarah
date: March 27, 2008
time: 1:36pm
weight: 9lbs 3 ¾oz
length: 20”
head: 37cm (significant because evidently this is 2cm larger than the average large baby's head!)

On a wed night I had a couple braxton hicks that felt different. I was woken up a couple times that night but they weren't coming stronger or faster. On Thursday morning I had my regularly scheduled midwife appt. She offered to check me. 4cm, 0 station, and 75% effaced. I asked about effacement because with Noah I checked into the hospital at 4cm and 100%. She said most woman don't efface completely after the first baby. So I could go anytime.
By Saturday I had severe tailbone pain and was having trouble finding a comfy position to do anything in. I called the midwife on call to explain and she said she thought the baby may have dropped more and that's why- not to worry.
On Tuesday I decided to go see my midwife because I was SOOO uncomfortable. She checked me again. 5cm. Great. The midwife said I wasn't in active labor but I could be- I was sooo ready. So I started wondering if there was anything holding me back emotionally or whatever from having this baby. I couldn't think of anything.
Wednesday was the same- more miserable- ouchy tailbone.
Wednesday night I didn't sleep much but I hadn't slept much at night for a week and assumed these would stop when it got light out like it had on previous nights. So I didn't wake Josh- I wanted him to be well rested. We were prepared to UC and I wanted him to be super ready.
I had a regularly scheduled midwife appt that morning and my mom was coming to hang out with Noah. I called and told her she should bring clothes for a couple nights... just in case.
I went into our bedroom around 6:30am and rocked through a contraction. I felt Josh get antsy/annoyed with me moving. When he woke up more he was on instant alert. He hadn't woken at all through the night- good to know.- especially because I had gone in to settle Noah a couple times in the night and was kind of annoyed the Josh hadn't:)
Anyway, I was moving and swaying through contractions. Called a friend (Kate- we had due date twins and she had had her baby about a week before). I told her I didn't want this baby anymore:) When I got off the phone I told Josh that I assumed when we went to the appt they would send us to the hospital and I wasn't sure I wanted to go. Josh suggested calling and canceling the appt and I should decide if I wanted to go to the hospital or not.
In the end I said I wanted to go. I called the midwife and waited for my mom to get to our house.
At the hospital the room with the jacuzzi (my main motivation for going to the hospital) was in use and we couldn't use that room. The midwife said she'd check me if I wanted her to but she would prefer to do minimal checks. I asked her to check and said I was prepared to only be 5cm still. I was 8cm and 100%! I was psyched. She said I could push anytime I felt like it and she got things ready. She was very concerned about invading our space so just said to call if we needed her but she didn't want to interrupt the flow. Unfortunately they had to have a couple people come in and do the questionnaire stuff. So first a nurse came in and said she had to draw blood and then they would hook up my i.v.
Me: why do I need an i.v.
Her: uhhh, well, we'll just put a little catheter in just in case because we're drawing blood anyway.
Me: A hep lock? I don't want one- it'll bother me.
Her: I'll check with Mary (the midwife)
It wasn't mentioned again.
A resident came in to have me sign a vaginal/csection birth release thing:/
She said they are doing a study where they draw blood to see if there's any toxic metals in the blood.
Her: We just get the blood from the cord
Me: Okay- how are you going to do that when it's still attached?
Her: Oh- we get it from the other end
Me: What end? Where the placenta is? That's staying attached.
Her: (looking confused) Umm, we just can take the blood after it's clamped.
Me: Oh- it won't be clamped.
Her: (more confused look)
Me: the placenta is staying attached to the baby
(Josh just came in and saw this and said the conversation was way longer than that)

Then she asked about hep B.
Me: Oh no, we're not going to do that.
Her: Okay- are you going to do any vaccines?
Me: No. (Start contraction)
Her: Can I ask why not? (is she serious??!)
Me: Ummm- we just think there are risks to getting vaccines and risks to getting whatever they are preventing and we'd prefer to take the “risk” of what the vaccines are preventing.
Her: Oh- okay (end contraction)

And then:
Her: Are you going to take anything for the pain?
Me: I'm 8cm- what are they going to do?

After she left the midwife came in and asked if I would mind if some student nurses came to the birth. She was clear she wanted to give everyone a job- it wasn't helpful to have people standing around staring at a birthing woman. I agreed that they could come.
In walks their professor and 2 students.
Their professor is our last landlady.
She's very high strung- that's why we moved from her apartment when Noah was 5 weeks old.
She recognizes me. And is nice. Sort of.
Then she directs the students to the machine and explains that they'll mostly be looking at the machine. *roll eyes*
When they leave the room I hear the landlady tell the students she can't be in the room with me- for apparently obvious reasons- but the students can be. Thank goodness!

Contractions have slowed down but I'm still rocking through them. Underwear-less I want to be on the side of the room where Josh is (opposite the door) and don't want to be in bed at all (apparently upsetting one of the interns). When the midwife comes in to see how we're doing I tell her about the landlady and the silly intern. She kind of rolls her eyes and says we just have to educate them. She evidently can't stand our x-landlady either and tries really hard to not take it out on her students:)
I asked if I could eat something- I was starving (I'd only had about 6 edamame that morning for breakfast). The midwife said she wasn't worried about my pancreas and I could have whatever (!!!) I wanted. She also said she didn't think I ever had gd- I disagree but that's okay. So I ordered pizza, oj, and a cookie. And was “allowed” to EAT during labor. It was fantastic and sooo yummy.
Standing/swaying/on my knees etc. on the far side of the bed moving through contractions Mary asks if one of the students can hang out with us to see what this is like.
I don't mind- and I'm all about exposing people to normal births.
I hear Mary tell her she should come and watch- you won't often see a woman on the floor rocking through contractions and I'm doing everything right. My nurse and the student nurse were saying that they were amazed how well I was doing. The student nurse asked if I had taken birth classes (Bradley last time, hypnobabies this time). The nurse said I should teach a class. (Side note: In hindsight Josh says my class would be: it's really easy in the beginning and then when you start pushing you just scream really loud... I don't know why the laboring part was so easy this time- maybe because I spent so much of it at home- I think the tools I learned to relax through hypnobabies helped too but I didn't listen to any of the cds once at the hospital- I didn't think I could be still and I wasn't confident about my “center switch”).
The student nurse hung out for an hour or so and was really nice. I ended up asking her to leave though because I was getting too chatty and the contractions were not coming.
Finally I was getting sick of everything and asked Mary to check and maybe break my water. (With Noah it was broken at 4cm and that really got things moving- this time I wanted to keep in in tact as long as possible- just to see what would happen). There was questionable leaking already so she said she'd check. I was 9cm (thankfully at the time I didn't really register that I had only progressed a cm in 4 hours). She said that there was a little bit of a bag left and offered to break it. I was more than happy to let her- I was done. I asked if I was in transition- why hadn't I felt “done” earlier. She said she doesn't read text books (I love my midwife:))
She said there was a little bit of a lip but it wasn't stopping anything from happening. She asked me to push with the next contraction and she would move the lip at the same time. We did that a couple times.
I was standing by the bed and sometimes lowering myself but not squatting.
Mary said there was some meconium so she had a ped stand outside the door and then gave everyone in the room a job- the 2 nursing students, a nurse, and the resident.
I kept pushing and pushing but it seemed not to be doing anything.
It was cool looking behind me and seeing the midwife- she was rubbing her hands together and getting all excited:) In between pushing the midwife said she just wanted to orient me to the room- so she told me where everyone was standing and what their role in the birth was. I thought that was so neat that she thought to do that.
Then she wanted me to push with the contractions. I told her I wanted to look at the monitor to make sure I was pushing at the *right* time. She said the monitor was silly and I knew better than it did so to push when I wanted. I didn't really want to... I told her I was done. (after the fact Josh said he's not sure what he would have done at home if I refused to push- which is kind of what I was doing). The midwife really pushed (no pun intended) me to push. She *made* me squat and was pushing on a spot on my back telling me to push into her finger. She also had her finger inside to move things out of the way. She was really encouraging. I was screaming like a tribal woman or something.
(in between pushes)
Me: I'm scaring everyone!
Everyone: No, no- you're doing great- no one is scared.
Me: The people in the hallway- I'm scaring them
Everyone: No, you're not- you're doing exactly what you should do.

I was a little nervous I was turning the students off of natural birth.
At one point I said: “t-shirt off now”- and that was the end of clothes. I was HOT. At times I felt some relief and would think the head was finally coming but it would just be the midwife's finger coming out. The midwife told the resident to be ready to catch the baby because she was going to support my perineum and really didn't want me to tear. When the baby's head FINALLY coming she told me to feel for it and that I should try to catch the baby.
I was saying: ring of fire- I feel the ring.
I had intended to try not to push but I was sooo DONE that I was pushing whenever I could. Last time I remember feeling weird about touching the baby's head- it was like touching your bits with a whole room of people watching. This time it was really motivating (I think partly because the baby was further down). The midwife encouraged me to keep holding her head and to grab her. At some point I let go though because I needed to brace myself on the edge of the bed again. Finally the baby came out and the midwife was yelling at the resident: let go- I'm talking to you, you, YOU- let go of the baby!
Then the midwife gave me the baby between my legs and guided me to turn around and sit down because she was worried that I was too weak to be standing.
It was such a relief to get this person out. And lots of thoughts of not doing this again for a VERY long time. I sat in bed and the midwife said something about “he”.
Me: Oh- it's a boy?
Her: I don't know- check.
(someone else goes to check)
Her: let Sarah check.
Me:... it's a girl- we made a girl!
I couldn't believe it. I wanted a boy because then Noah would have a brother but I really wanted a girl also because I'm a girl and I think girls are pretty cool. I searched the room for Josh and found him standing at the foot of the bed, tucked out of the way from all the personnel in the room. He was all teary but then I was back in the moment of holding our baby. I was kind of sad that there was so much physical distance between us but there were so many people in the room and he was trying to stay out of the way.
The midwife said I would need a stitch. I was near begging for a shot of something before she stitched. She insisted that it would be fine- one stitch- it tore a little where my 2nd degree tear from Noah was. She put analgesic on it and it really wasn't bad at all when she stitched. She was feeling bad that I tore at all but I didn't care. We got out the placenta and she was very protective of the connection between the baby and the placenta for me.
Josh and I started discussing names. I think Sadie was definitely out- she didn't look like a Sadie. She kind of looked like Lydia but neither of us loved that name. Finally we settled on Del (short for Madeleine Sarah). (I keep telling people when they ask her name “Del short for Madeleine”- I'm trying to just say “Del” when people ask). So we kept playing with the name Del and decided we just needed to commit.

They weighed her. When the midwife saw that she was 9.3 she didn't feel so bad about the tear:)
We wanted to go home asap. I wanted to call my mom and have her come asap too. So Josh went to call my mom. I asked if we needed to go to a postpartum room. They said we didn't if we were just going home.
They tested Del's sugar. It was 25. She was already nursing so the midwife asked that they test again in ½ an hour. She was baffled by why it was low- she thought maybe the oj. She said that if it wasn't over 40...well, over 35, she was going to call in a pediatric team because she didn't want to mess around. (some medical background: I was born with a condition called nesidioblastosis- my pancreas produced too much sugar. Evidently it's hereditary/chromosomal but no one else in my family has it so we weren't too worried- until Del's sugar was low.)
½ hour later it was 36. The midwife still wasn't too too happy so she asked us to stay the night. Naturally we were very okay with doing that given Del's sugar.
My mom came and brought Noah. Noah was very into the baby. He was also very into mommy milk. I let him nurse (him: yum!) but have since decided that I don't want to tandem. After an hour or so my mom and Noah went home and would come back later.

When they tested Del's sugar again it was 76. The midwife was happy to let her not be tested again until morning. I cleaned up in the bathroom a bit and then the nurse suggested we bathe Del and then move to a postpartum room. I had recently read information about not bathing a new baby and told the nurse I'd like to only wash her hair- and I'd like to do it. They were thankfully okay with that. I think it helped that Del's skin was clean. It was soo cool this time rubbing in vernix and feeling all her softness.

Finally around 5 we moved to a postpartum room. Between birth and moving to the postpartum room Del had passed meconium 4 times! The nurse from the labor part (it's all on the same floor) said she wouldn't be our nurse anymore but our nurse would come check on us soon.... At 7:15 I finally buzzed the nurses station and asked when a nurse was going to check on us and we'd like some dinner. Kathleen is evidently our nurse and will be down shortly.
At 8 Kim (not Kathleen) comes with a tray and explains that the cafeteria is closed but here's a sandwich. Argh! I ask about getting a peri bottle (it had been left in the birth room). The peri bottle never came...
We ate and got all settled and went to sleep around 9. Josh was exhausted- but felt bad for being so tired when he wasn't up with me the night before.
At midnight it was like a comedy nurse act that busted into our room announcing they needed vitals and to take the baby to the nursery to weigh her. Why midnight- I don't know why- but all the babies get wheeled to the nursery at midnight at this hospital to be weighed. I asked if I could go too- I was hoping they would be speedier if I went with her. They suggested Josh go instead- I had just had a baby and should rest. I was annoyed because I knew I was in better shape than Josh but couldn't be bothered to argue further. I opted to take an ibuprofin because the afterpains were waking me up. They asked how my legs were feeling. I didn't know why at first until they asked if I had had an epidural. They also asked if I was using the anaglesic, witch hazel pads, and the peri bottle. I explained that it was left in the birth room. They look shocked and one goes off to get replacements. At this point what's the point though- I've been doing fine without for hours...
Anyway Josh left with Del to go get weighed.
I hear the nurse in the nursery: Is this your first baby?.... (presumably Josh responded- he's rather quiet)...Oh, second, well- when you change a diaper...
I was thinking- you are KIDDING!!! You're giving this man diapering lessons (never mind his experience) at midnight!?!? I hear a baby crying. Not sure if it's Del but I can't relax. So I get out of bed. Find pj's and traipse down to the nursery where I see the nurse is re-diapering Del. Then we go back to our room with instructions to call them when we wake up sometime after 3am so they can do vitals again. Oh- so at midnight Del was 8lbs 14oz- evidently that will happen when you poop a million times:)
Things are rather uneventful- thankfully- for the rest of the night.
Anyone who does come to see us suggests we bathe Del. I explain that we washed her hair- does she look dirty? No one seems to think she looks dirty but everyone seems to think she needs a bath. I promise everyone that we will bathe her when we go home *roll eyes* Everyone is concerned about the placenta. The nursery nurse gives Josh a plastic biohazard bag to put it in “so it won't dry out”- ummm, that's the point. She apparently asked if we were doing this for religious reasons- I told Josh: Yes, the religion of crunchy... Another nurse says we will probably have to carry this thing around with us for 2 weeks! We just thank her for the information (lotus birth placentas usually fall off before the cord would have). At this point the cord is already much smaller than it originally was. Oh- I did ask one of the comedy nurses (I'm just calling them that because it was a pair of them and they were both bumbling around and seemed a little ridiculous) what we needed to do to arrange breakfast because we had somehow been looked over for dinner.
Nurse: well, when was the baby born
Me: 1:30 but we didn't come over here until around 5
Nurse: Oh, well that's why- you missed ordering your food- you do that in the morning (smile smile)
Hmm- so everyone at this hospital evidently typically gives birth by 7am and then moves to the postpartum side and orders their food... if only I had known- silly me!
Around 6am the woman comes to get Del for a hearing test. I ask to go. The woman is fine with me going but suggests Josh stay in our room because the testing room is small. When we get to the testing room she says- I see you're doing a lotus birth. I'm impressed and pleased she knows what it's called. She explains that she's a doula and does reiki too. I told her people seem freaked out about the placenta. She's very reassuring. It was a nice breath of fresh air.
Around 7am our new nurse comes. She's a weird mix of nice and not nice. I was very clear that our plan was to leave asap. I said that Del needed her sugar tested, we needed the doctor to check us, and we needed to fill out whatever discharge papers were needed. We were also going to wait until Del was 24 hours old to get the PKU done. She said we'd have to wait for the doctor for the discharge papers- I should just relax. Argh- I would- if we were home!
She checks Del's sugar level- it's 60 something so they aren't worried. She tells me around 10 that the doctor called and will be in shortly. At 11:30 I buzz the nurse's station.
Me: Do you know when the doctor will be here?
Nurse: No I don't. Click.
Nice. At 1:30 I go to the nurse's station and ask the nurse there if there's any way to contact the doctor- we'd like to leave. That nurse calls the doctor and reports that she'll be here soon.
Soon- like 3 hours soon? Argh.
I tell Josh that I want them to come and do the PKU- he suggests waiting until after the doctor comes to check us out.
The doctor came around 1:40 and was awesome (she's the midwife's backup and I really like her- despite her delay in coming to see us). She got a nurse to come and do the PKU. Someone from vital records came to give us a temp birth certificate (although she tried to give us “Keagan's” at first:)). I asked if we needed to do anything else or if we could go. The vital records lady said if the doctor had checked us out then we are okay to go.
So I walked purposefully towards the nurse's station and (unfortunately) our nurse was sitting filling out paperwork. I asked if we could go.
Nurse: oh no- we have to finish the discharge papers and then there's a shift change.

ARRRGGHHH! It's now 3pm. I wait until 3:20 and go back to the nurse's station. The nurse there says that they have a shift overlap type meeting to go over patients' status info- she would go get someone.
FINALLY a nurse comes and gives us paperwork and tries to give us our “free” diaper bag from enfamil. I said we'd leave it as a kind of protest.
Nurse: well it's a breastfeeding support bag (points to big BREASTFEEDING printed on the tag)
Me: Yep, but I think it's from Enfamil (points to enfamil logo on bag)
Nurse: (chuckled non commitally)
Josh pick up all our bags, I snuggle with Del and we head for the door.
Nurse: wait- let me give you a copy of your discharge paper.

Okay- sure.
We leave our room. As we pass the nurse's station a nurse looks shocked and asks about a car seat.
It's in the car.
It's a convertible.
They can come and see it if they want to.
Then we can't find the exit door. Someone directs us to the door. I'm feeling a little sore walking so fast but I want them to be confident in our discharge.
Outside of the maternity unit we slow down.
We make our way to the hospitals exit.
Phew.
Finally.

At home Noah is happy to see us but even more happy to see this baby that we've brought home. By the time we got home I was sooo sick of carrying around the placenta with Del and her cord was REALLY dry. Josh boiled scissors and we cut it. Then we let Noah hold the baby.
He was thrilled.
For the rest of the day it was hard to get her away from him.

Right before his bedtime I was nursing Del and it took a lot to convince him that milk in his cup was a sufficient substitute.
I was a little concerned yesterday because Del ate at 3 (before we left from the hospital) and then not again until 9pm (and slept pretty much the whole time in between).
Then she slept until 11:30 and nursed constantly until 1:30am. At that point we were both frustrated (I think she wasn't feeling up to continuing to nurse lying down). So I got up with her for about ½ an hour. She didn't wake up again to eat until this morning aroun7am (with some encouragement). I'm a little nervous but trying to see this as a good thing- and remind myself that she's a big girl and has plenty of reserves.

It's not fair

10:15pm
feeling resentful
Ark Boy is not falling asleep
Farm Girl is screaming in Ren Man's arms
Try to explain to Ark Boy that Farm Girl needs mommy
Ark Boy: "Mommy-lay-down"
Wait 8.2 seconds
"Mommy is going to give baby milk"
Ark Boy: "Mommy-lay-down"
Arm is grabbed by Ark Boy
Wait 2.2 seconds
try again
doesn't work
again
Ren Man comes to say Farm Girl is very stressed
Ask for 5 minutes
Tell him to bounce Farm Girl
10:30pm
Ark Boy still awake holding arm in death grip
Feeling mad at Ark Boy
He's two years
Farm Girl is two months
Who needs me more?
Insist on leaving Ark Boy
Ark Boy cries for 2.2 seconds
Calm screaming Farm Girl down in 3 seconds
Feel bad for Ren Man
Ren Man is working tomorrow at 6am
Move Farm Girl to cradle
Go downstairs to put ground beef in refrigerator to thaw for tomorrow's dinner because forgot to do it earlier
Back upstairs
Ren Man holding "fire" (pacifier) in Farm Girls mouth
10:40pm
everyone sleeping

12:30am
Ark Boy calls for Mommy
Give him water
Put quilt on top of him
Sneak back to bed
Still feeling annoyed with Ark Boy

2:45am
Farm Girl wakes for first feeding
So thankful for how much she sleeps

4:30am
Farm Girl wakes for second feeding

4:40am
Ark Boy calls for frantically for mommy
not thinking
rip breast for unsuspecting baby
go to Ark boy
try to offer water/quilt
hear Farm Girl get upset
Ark Boy insist "Mommy-lay-down"
Delirious Ren Man pulls me away from Ark Boy's bed
Ark Boy insists on mommy
Leave room
Re-attach breast to baby
Ark Boy comes to our bed
Farm Girl sleeping
Try to sneak out of bed with Ark Boy
Farm Girl wakes up
Ren Man frustrated
Bring Ark Boy to watch "Ark Boy TV" (home video)
Reattach baby

5am
Ren Man takes shower/gets ready for work
Farm Girl sleeping
Too scared to try to sleep

5:30am
Ren Man leaves for work
Hear Ark Boy: "Work! Outside! Van! Work!"
Go calm Ark Boy
Decide to bring Ark Boy to his bed
If he's not asleep by 7am will bring to shower
Look at clock
Too far away
No contacts
Can't see
Hmmm- looks like 7am-ish
bring Ark Boy to shower
Start computer
check time.

5:40am
oh.
very tired suddenly.
DSL is painfully slow
frustrated
check to make sure Ark Boy hasn't drowned
Ark Boy standing in shower spray hugging rubber duck
Check Farm Girl
Still sleeping
Feel mad/resentful/frustrated that she doesn't get as much cosleeping time as I want her to have
Miss her
check to make sure Ark Boy hasn't drowned
Ark Boy standing in shower spray coloring on shower walls with bath crayon stubs
must get more bath crayons
Wonder how long I can justify leaving him in there by himself
Think about cuddling with Farm Girl
Will take too long
Might wake her
Must wear her a lot today

6:10am
check web pages loading
still loading
hate dsl
feels like dial up

6:11am
get in shower
love shower
so does Ark Boy
must share shower spray
Ren Man has tomorrow off
hoping for solo shower tomorrow
maybe more Farm Girl time too

6:15am
think maybe Ark Boy needs more mommy time
try to resolve to spend more time with him today
not sure what to do with him though
he's happy playing by himself
plus- he knocks down the block towers I make for him
say to self: Self, he's 2 -I'm 25
eek
I'm 25

6:30am
shower over
sad
Bring Ark Boy to watch more "Ark Boy TV"
Feel slightly guilty
Feel very tired
contemplate getting into bed with Farm Girl
Wet hair
Bed- no good
should get dressed
having friends for dinner
want to make hamburger rolls and hamburger
Should start while Ark Boy is TV zombie and Farm Girl is sleeping

Diving in

I've been debating blogging for probably a year...
Today I decided- I'm going to just doit!

I recently earned my MAT, had a second baby, we moved, and Ren Man (dh) has started a summer job that keeps him away for 40+ hours a week. I think that makes me a full fledged SAHM.
So this will be a blog where I discuss everything SAHM. For me that includes parenting, sewing, cooking, reading.... I'm sounding quite domestic....

During our *normal* life Ren Man is a student and does most of the typical SAHM stuff (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and we share parenting.
But times are a-changing.

Maybe I'll include monthly letters to the kiddos too... I've been meaning too but always felt like it was too late to start one for Ark Boy and not fair to do it for Farm Girl when I hadn't for Ark Boy... maybe that was all an excuse...
Anyway... fussy baby to attend to.