Wednesday, May 25, 2011

On the other hand

I know I've been frustrated with gender stuff on the farm.
We've hired a new hired hand.
He asked if I come down to "help" often.
He smiled in a way that said: "that's cute" when I explained that I come every morning.
The original hired hand (there are two) has taken to saying: "Thanks for your help this morning" in front of the new guy - I was so annoyed with this the first day and didn't know how to respond. It's not like I hadn't already been going to the barn every morning for the last 4 weeks. And really, it's MY farm - not his, when it comes down to it.
So I started replying by saying: "Thank YOU for YOUR help!"

Anyway ... on the other hand - comments are made to imply that Ren Man is incompetent in the house.
Someone heard vacuuming upstairs when I was downstairs and said:
"Wow! You trained him well! He vacuums?!?!"
Me: Oh, he came that way
Her: Oh, thank his mother then
Me: I don't think she takes credit either

This person couldn't believe that a male would be able to clean the house too. Then this typical follow up:
Me: yeah, he cooks, does the laundry and dishes ...
Her: Wow, you're so luck, he's a keeper.
Me: Yeah, that's funny because if it was the other way around no one would be saying: 'wow, you're really lucky your wife made you dinner, she's a keeper!"

As I walked away I heard the woman say to Ren Man's grandmother: You know, that's true - no one would say that!

People are figuring it out.
We actually DO play on the same team. Sometimes (rarely) I do dishes, most of the time he does. I tend to do more laundry.

This is mind blowing evidently for our peers and generations ahead of us.
And I'll keep reminding people of Ren Man's competence in the home and he'll keep reminding people that our farming is also a partnership. They aren't Ren Man's bees, vegetables, pigs, chickens, etc. We are both working daily on our farm AND in our home.

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