Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My husband is trying to fatten me up

When we first got together Ren Man said he never imagined being with someone so small.
I took offense to that.
I patiently explained that 5'4" is the average american women's height.
But I think he meant out, not up ... and I think he means to fix my "small" issue.
Here's how I figured it out:
~ As you know, he's an excellent cook. Generally our meals are gourmet. That doesn't mean yummy necessarily (I have an aversion to things like beans, kale, rice ... and yet they are cooked in this house, sometimes all at once!). And things you wouldn't think could be gourmet - well they are when Ren Man cooks them ... like pizza. Innocent pizza. But in the hands of Ren Man it turns into avocado tomato bacon pizza. What could be better?

~ And then there was the issue over the summer where Ben & Jerry's pints were on sale for some ridiculously low price. (This makes sense considering the surplus of milk available at the time.... but that's another issue). So Ren Man couldn't resist the sale ... and the problem is: I can't resist yummy food (I have no off button!) So 14 pints of delicious Ben&Jerry's later ...

~ And finally (as if you need more proof!) - he found the halloween candy sale. I knew he'd been looking for it but he hadn't found it.
And then he did.
Kit Kats
Really really we avoid packaged foods
oh yeah - and twizzlers! (these are the food item that I literally at 4lbs of in less than a week postpartum both times - being on a diabetes diet during pregnancy will do that to a person - make them eat 4lbs of twizzlers in no time ... I won't even mention the oreos!).

So there you have it.
All the proof you need to show that my husband is trying to fatten me up.
For what purpose, I'm not sure.
But I'm watching very closely to determine his motive.
I'll let you know when I find out.
And today - for the record - kitkat consumption= 3
okay... 4
It's been 5, okay?!?!
I told you - the off switch is missing!


Nicenfat said...

It sounds like you are getting LOTS of TLC.  You'll plump and tempting in no time!

DontWorry said...

Chubby hubby, and tubby.

Just kidding, you'll be fine! Don't sweat it, maybe he is just trying to save money. You never know..