Passion

I feel dedicated to a dream, a cause, a project.
I work very very hard and am consumed by the demands of said project.
The wrinkles get worked out, systems are in place, everything is becoming hectic and full and successful.
And then I find myself drawn to another project.
I lose interest in the successful work of the previous project.
I continue to pursue it because I'm committed, but not as passionately as before.
Unless I find a new angle to focus on and perfect.

This is a frustrating aspect of my personality.
Why am I like this?

Then that influential friend, Emily, described herself in the same exact way. She enjoys the left hand side of the curve when learning new skills, but once you're on the top of the curve or the right side, interest is minimal. She said there's a book called The Renaissance Soul. This was a couple years ago, that we had this discussion. I finally got around to reading the book (and to be honest, I'm only about 40% through it, because while January was a reading-frenzy-passion-month, February and March have not been so reading focused).




The book is awesome at describing the drive for trying new things and how to best capitalize on that thirst for new knowledge and experiences. There are other attributes that go along with the myriad of interests including the feeling that life is too short (I can't get everything done!), that life feels a bit frenzied as you attempt to learn about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, the intensity of interest that wanes, the random knowledge base, etc. The book also outlines how to harness this tendency that can lead to a scattered feeling where nothing actually seems to get accomplished.

But this explains the passion for vaccine research, unschooling, fostering, birth, even farming and photography. It explains why I majored in journalism but was never a journalist professionally (it's the loyalty and stubbornness that compelled me to remain committed to the major I started with).

This isn't a bad thing, this revolving interest list. Since forever I've been interested in reading, farming, photography, mothering children other women had birthed. Sometimes one interest will take front and center (in January I was reading a ton, in February I wasn't), at times there is more than one interest that holds my attention - but not often, and sometimes I have a passion that is so overwhelming ... but life responsibilities that demand I limit my time with my passion - responsibilities that I often created for myself because I was passionate about that ... last month!

There are ebbs and flows. When we were first married I would spend a few months sewing and then a month scrapbooking, and then sewing for a few months again.

More recently it's been farming and then photography. Both happening at once, but my attention and passion more intensely focused on one more than the other at any given time.

I think it's normal for passions to ebb and flow for everyone to some extent, but this can be crazy making - this renaissance soul. So if blog writing starts to ebb, it could be that the journalist is checking out again for a while.

What am I feeling consumed by lately?
Would you be surprised if I said: camper restoration?

I also feel the farming passion growing again, and the photography one about to grab me. Could be the warmer weather?

I'll keep blogging. Just letting you know where my head is right now.