Monday, November 19, 2012

How this got started

This is a good story. It's a 12 year old story that we tell each other every year. I think I encourage this tradition because there's so much that was going on while I was oblivious that altered my life irreversibly since.

The Story of How Ren Man and I Started Dating Hanging Out Officially

My version of the story
: Ren Man and I were hanging out in his dorm room. It started out being a bunch of us in there but for some reason or another they all left and his room mate wasn't there. I was looking through music options and he said (quite out of the blue): "Sarah, I really like you".
I panicked.
My skin went hot cold hot cold hot cold.
I played it cool though and said: "I know, I like you too. I-was-thinking-how-people-say-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah -->make excuse to leave room.
Ren Man wanders into my dorm room where people tend to hang out and there was a planned viewing of Center Stage.
Our room was crowded crowded and Ren Man was sitting on my room mates bed looking quite uncomfortable. I told Ren Man he could sit on my bed instead if he wanted.
He did, I sat with him.
When the movie started I put his arm around me and we ended up sliding down to lay on the bed instead of leaning on the oh-so-comfortable headboard/cinder-block-wall.
When everyone cleared out of the room after the movie (which I think was terrible, but I can't say for sure, it definitely wasn't as engrossing as trying to figure out what was going on) I managed to figure out that I felt sorry for him (he was quiet, it must have taken a lot of courage to say what he did) and that I'd give him two weeks before ending it.
The next morning I im'd him to ask if we were going out. I didn't want to assume.
He responded with "I don't know, it's not only up to me"
I didn't want to put my neck out there so just waited.
Then "If it was up to me I'd say 'yes'"
So that was that.

Ren Man's version of the story
: Ren Man assumed he would meet the person he'd marry in college. He was very open to the possibility. He went through short phases of liking other girls (one in particular) early in our first year of college.
But then he started liking me.
And he kept liking me more.
It kept growing.
Usually when he liked a girl the like would fade as he got to know her.
But the more he got to know me the more he liked me.
One day we were IMing (something that we suddenly had started doing, for unknown reasons)
He asked over IM if I wanted a date cookie
I responded with "are you implying something"
There was a long pause (in which he says he was slamming his head against the couch and in which I was panicking and convincing myself it was silly to panic, of course he didn't like me)
He recovered with: "no, it's just cookies my mom made"
A friend of mine had an x-boyfriend I'd also been IMing who was coming to visit on the pretense of visiting my friend.
This made Ren Man panic.
He confessed his feelings to my friend and she encouraged him to tell me.
She managed to get everyone OUT of his room so he could tell me that he liked me.
When he said: "Sarah, I really like you"
and I said: "I know, I like you too...."
His thought was: "okay, at least she knows I don't NOT like her. I'll have to try again tomorrow."
When he and I were sitting on my bed and I wrapped his arm around me his thought was: "OH! She does get it!"

Two nights later we were able to hang out again and start to get to know one another. Apparently Ren Man knew me well enough but I really didn't have a clue about him. He was the quiet one in the group.
So questions started: do you have any brothers or sisters, what's your family like, how do you think you get to heaven, what do you think about drinking, what about sex before marriage, what is your opinion on abortion, what do you think of God, I want six kids - I want to birth two and adopt 4 ... Oh! Also, I should mention, I'm not messing around, if we're dating it's because we intend to marry and if we ever doubt that we should break up, is that okay with you?
This was all me asking him - and he answered all of those questions honestly and to my liking.

Two days after that
we were leaving for Thanksgiving break. Me, being me, had shared all the details with my family, Ren Man had not and assumed I had not either (evidently didn't know me that well!). When My dad picked me up I introduced them. Apparently Ren Man's handshake was very weak. Ren Man claims he assumed my dad didn't know (so evidently no strong handshake is required?)

On Thanksgiving Day
(NOTE: FOUR days AFTER we were OFFICIAL): Ren Man's aunt said (as Ren Man knew she would): "Do you have a girlfriend?"
His response: "Yep"
His mom's response: "WHAT?!?! You didn't tell me!


Also interesting to note: Another friend of ours used to take walks with me around a field on campus. One walk I was bemoaning the fact that we could match up all of our new friends with each other but I wasn't seen as part of any possible couple. This friend suggested Ren Man. My response: "??? No way, ew, gross"

Have I said we've been together for 12 years?
I couldn't have picked out a better life partner for myself (obviously :) )


librarian pirate said...

I am so glad you two have spent 12 wonderful years together.  And I'm so glad I got to spend much of the first 4 years on campus with you!

Donna said...

Love hearing both sides of the story! Inspires me to write ours down, too. (I also had a random thought about "giving him a few weeks.")

lovermont said...

I'm glad you were there too.
Did we tell you that Josh had a crush on you first? Then one afternoon he was in your room trading cd's and I called to tease him about the crush I "knew" he had on you. At that point he was crushing on me and thinking: "if only you knew". haha.

lovermont said...

I can't wait to hear your story!
And that two week thing ... we should be spreading the word to women: that's a red flag that it will last longer than two weeks ;)