Monday, December 5, 2011

Dear Noah 5years 7mos

Dear Noah,
I'm in wonder over the thought that 6 years ago you lived in my belly. I still look at you and half expect your mom to come and pick you up. I can't believe you're our son. I don't know when it becomes normal. Maybe other people make the transition quicker but it still seems unreal. Your quickly becoming the size of a grown person and to think that I am old enough to have a child as grown up as you ... mind blowing.


You're still all about snuggling before bed and snuggling first thing in the morning. You still want us to brush your teeth. You love being read to and you love playing video games. We come home with s-t-a-c-k-s of books from the library and spend the rest of the day reading. We try to hold off on the start of video game playing until after lunch because once you start it's very very hard to stop for the day. There's more than one reason we haven't set up a television at Winter Hill.
You're very into superheros and good guys and bad guys and fighting. You've gone through a brief but annoying phase this month of running full force into unsuspecting adults.


Your figuring out what threats are as you use them regularly. The funniest threat came a couple of months ago when you said: "if you don't let me have ice cream right now I'm never have ice cream again!" These days it's mostly threats of never playing with your sister again. This is as ridiculous as saying you'll never have ice cream again as your sister is your best friend and the person you play with the most.

Your also figuring out what our family values are, what your peers' values are, and where your values fall. I relish this time when you're very loyal to your upbringing when faced with conflict with friends. I know it won't always be this way but I beam with pride now when you use your words and make firm statements about what you feel is safe or not.


I remember a time when you'd rather not hug friends and more importantly, family. Recently you've been initiating hugs and grandparents and aunts and uncles are loving this. Hugging backfired a little recently when you were sad to leave friends and even more sad when they did not want to hug. It's worth the risk of initiating affection, even if it's rejected.

Your honesty and spot on judgement of character is wonderful. When you ask why I'm sad and I say that someone said something I didn't like and you tell me we need to go use our words and tell that person they made me sad ... it's a reminder of the contrast between the world we present to our children as the way we want the world to be and the reality. It's interesting and heartbreaking and shocking to be called on something by you, our son. It makes me proud that you've absorbed what we've been trying to show you through respectful parenting but also makes me sad that the world isn't always so easy. It's hard to see you figure that out through our experiences and also your own as you interact with peers.


It's nice to know we still have years together to figure these things out. We don't have too too long because you are saying that when you're grown up you're not going to live with me ... you're going to live with Grammy ... which has more to do with living with Grammy's video game opportunities than living with Grammy. Maybe we should set up that TV after all.

I love you love you,

No comments: