Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Price of Being *just* a Mom Part III

Started subbing this year for an area private school.
Very fun.
Every time I sub
yearn for a teaching job.
Fantasize about full time job.
More money.
Then imagine daycare options.
Ark Boy would be fine and probably enjoy it.
Farm Girl.
Not so much.
Can't imagine leaving her.
Especially when she chooses to starve while I sub.
That's okay.
Probably not okay with daycare provider.
Plus, have always felt that we had kids for a reason-
to raise them.
Resist letting someone else raise them.
Would be comfortable leaving them with Ren Man.
But for 40 hours?
And he is falling behind school-wise as it is.
He definitely couldn't be a full time + dad.
(consider us both full time parents currently)
Feel trapped.
So ridiculous that children are shut out of our day-to-day living.
Why is that?
But can it be changed in our current society?
Not sure.
Mom sends this link and this one.
Food for thought.
But don't see how to practically apply these things in current situation.
Also continue to feel strongly that no one should be apart from their families routinely for 40hours a week.
We wonder why affairs happen with secretaries?
(Have I said this in a past entry? It's worth repeating- good point)
When you spend 40 hours a week with someone working towards a common goal should it be surprising that you feel close to this person- and perhaps love this person?
And yet this person is typically not your spouse.

So in short:
Want full time teaching position
Want to be full time parent
Don't feel that these two should be mutually exclusive
Frustrated because see no way to integrate the two in a way that is agreeable to myself and employer.

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