Monday, July 28, 2008

A Do-er

Several posts have been created describing my opinion of the situation mothers are placed in routinely (eg isolated at home, seen as somehow inferior, forced to choose between work and home and shunned no matter what choice is made, etc. etc.).
I am not alone in these views.
Every gathering of mothers that I've participated in has led to an impromptu discussion about how this situation is nonsensical.
New moms are confessing that they feel isolated and resentful despite their deepest desire to be a mom.
Moms with preschoolers are confessing that they are relieved their child is off to school but also feeling guilty to feel that relief.
Moms with high schoolers are confessing that the time went too fast and now they are left trying to fill a role that no longer needs filling because they're not sure what else to do with their life.
So everyone is talking about this.
It's not just me.
And it's not just moms.
Dad's- the ones who happen to be married to these moms and come to our house-or we theirs- for some reason- too are talking about this.

My frustration is... I'm a doer.
It's all well and good to write about this problem.
To ponder.
To discuss.
But no resolution is ever made.
It's frustrating.
The only "solution" for now that I can think of is living in a more communal setting.
That could mean living close to family.
Or living close to a friend who is in a similar situation to you.
But that's a big life change.
And doesn't affect the structure of the culture that's created this monster mom situation in the first place.

For now I'll keep talking about it.
Hopefully through this we can come closer to a better situation for people everywhere because
Our system right now isn't working
and it's offensive
It puts women's needs which are inexorably linked to family's needs second.
Who wins in this situation?
I'm not sure.
I have yet to figure it out.
It's not working.
Let's talk.
Let's talk about a solution- or more realistically- solutionS.
I'm open to change
are you?

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