Friday, August 29, 2008


Desperately feeling like there needs to be more than mommy-hood for me.
Enter guilt.
Should feel fulfilled in mommy-hood.
Isn't mommy-hood the ultimate life goal of every woman?
No time for guilt.
Must find way to feel fulfilled beyond mommy-ness.
Thought about sewing something.
Too time consuming.
Have tried html coding.
Thought about freelance writing.
Really should consider this more.
Have journalism degree after all.
Stumped on story ideas for now.
But definitely the winner so far.
Also considered "mommy dating" service.
Excel at matching moms with moms.
Feel like this shouldn't cost moms anything though.
Have also considered being a mommy consultant.
Same misgivings about charging as above.
However, doula friend explained that most midwives/doulas etc. have the same struggles but in our society in order for something to be valued we have to charge money.
But true.
The trouble with most ideas is that feel the need for instant success without doing any leg work.
Not sensible.
Realize this.
Still feel frantic need to be instant success.
Another stumbling block- feel like services are not worth money.
Typical female response.
Stumbled across the idea of mompreneur.
Plan to pursue tutoring more when school starts.
But what about now.
Consider lay midwifery.
Interested in apprenticeship.
However, midwifery quite tenuous in this state- perhaps MA midwife mentor?
Don't know if they are willing.
Not sure how to further pursue.
Or if it's an option.
Sent resumes- some cold- to two schools.
Received letter from one school stating that part time teaching positions were not currently available but should consider subbing.
Tossed letter.
Not interested in subbing.
Phone rings.
Asks if interested in subbing.
Try to say no.
Want something more regular.
Promised to get at least 3 days/week.
Have nursing baby.
Can work around nursing baby- perhaps work in breaks to go home.
Concerned about large class size.
Only 15 kids per class.
Start thinking...
Do want to work next year
Perhaps a foot in the door?
Research school more.
Sounds fantastic.
School has nursery and preschool.
For Ark Boy and Farm Girl next year?
Arrange to meet with person at school next Thursday.
Ren Man is skeptical.
Feeling optimistic.

1 comment:

Danielle said...

so nice to hear other brilliant moms who are choosing to be at home challenged by similar thoughts/issues.