Sunday, July 13, 2008

Mommy brain (The price of being *just* a mom part II)

I resist and resent the term "Mommy Brain"
As if being a mommy deserves a new definition of "brain"
a lesser brain than the average
I managed to keep my regular brain status intact throughout my first pregnancy and baby
When the second pregnancy started... the so called mommy brain kicked in
much to my annoyance
I'm constantly forgetting things
mid sentence
this is incredibly frustrating
evidently it's because mommies multi task
makes sense
So shouldn't a "Mommy Brain" be seen as superior
Not synonymous with that flighty forgetful person with sloppy hair who hasn't bothered to shave for weeks?
But no.
Mommies aren't superior
They never are
Mommies are looked down on
Not sure why
Everyone has one
Maybe that's the problem
There are so many they are a dime a dozen?
Is that it?

So I apologize if I forget this or that detail
But I applaud myself for keeping track of one independent and very mobile toddler while keeping an infant satisfied (usually) and my sanity intact (for the most part).
And I try very hard to recognize the great-ness that is my mom self and ignore all of the people that seem to look down on my mom status or seem impatient with me as I forget the story I was trying to tell...again.
But then maybe I'm not looked down upon?
Maybe this is a reflection of my own insecurity in my role as a mother and reflects how I have felt about mothers in the past?
I hope not.

I hope that I am putting a positive spin on motherhood for the mothers that will follow me.
I hope other women and girls see a confident and happy woman when they see me.
I hope they see breastfeeding as normal.
I hope they see normal birth as normal (and yes- I meant to call it a "normal birth").
I hope they see that responding to baby's cries immediately is normal.
I hope I live up to these expectations and instead don't come across as the harried frantic mother of two who is completely overwhelmed- that I sometimes feel
although it's getting better
and better

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